Always

The beginning of the end (Revised)

A.N. Hi everyone! So hopefully you're hear to read my story and set off of an adventure and I hope you'll enjoy it. If you have read my story before you'll see some changes, I rewrote the entire first book! Hopefully it still satisfies you and you still love it. :)

The screaming fills my ears almost every night when I try to sleep, but I can't ever seem to wakeup. I see my father's face and the pain that constantly consumes it as he is buried alive. Every night as my eyes close and I drift asleep, I see my father's smile and the last time I said goodbye to him.

You never really know when the people you love will leave you, and when it does happen you're never fully prepared. They say losing someone you love is almost too hard to handle. I guess you could say that my mother is living proof. . .if you even count her as living. I don't, but maybe that's because I consider her gone. Crazy and not all there, but living in a world where my father still exists. When he died it was almost as if she died with him. It took almost a year for her to do more than just lie in bed and occasionally blink. All the responsibilities fell on to me, the small, skinny, raven haired little girl.

I wake startled at the coldness of the sheets and the emptiness in my stomach from the lack of food. In this world, I go to sleep hungry and afraid that I won't be able to provide a meal for my sister. But it's still better than the nightmares I face when my eyes close in the dark. Breathing heavily I pull myself out of bed and get dressed for the day. My gaze falls onto my little sister curled up in bed right next to our almost non-existent mom. I pick up my game bag and sling it across my shoulder before quickly eating a small cracker.

The door creaks as I pull it shut and the spring breeze feels nice against my skin. Most families in the Seam are up at dawn, wives kissing their husbands goodbye before watching them walk to the mines. Not knowing if they'll see them again, or if they'll live to the end of the week.

When I reach the meadow, I scan the field and my eyes fall onto a yellow dandelion. Some people think of them as weeds, but I like to admire them and remember someone that once helped me in a way I couldn't help myself. I quickly realize it's foolish to live in the past, so I drop my eyes and continue towards the fence. It separates the secrets of freedom from the district. I slip under the fence and make my way towards the woods and the rock where I sit every day. 

The only time I can really process my thoughts is when I'm in the woods, it's where I feel the most alive. Although today my thoughts are of my sister and the harsh reality she's about to face, her first reaping. It's something every twelve year old goes through and if they're lucky then they'll survive it.

However, luck has never really been on our side. Every year the Capitol takes a girl and a boy between the ages of twelve and eighteen to an arena where they fight to stay alive. It ruins the human being, making them do unimaginable things and then they're awarded for it. But we all know that the victors are deeply haunted by their own demons and they're never the same when they return home.

When I feel a hand tap my shoulder I swing around aiming my bow at the intruder, but I quickly drop the weapon when I realize it's only Gale behind me. "Hey, Katniss," he says as he sits on the rock next to me. Gale is someone I would consider important in my life.  Not because I'm in love with him, but because he's my best friend. We both lost our dads in the mine explosion and I suppose that's why we have such a close bond. While I still have two more reapings to survive, Gale is eighteen which means this is his last one. If he's lucky, he'll get out without ever having to be reaped.

"Are you ready to go hunting?" he asks.

"Of course."

He pulls me off of the ground and hands me my bow. Even after five years without my dad, I can still feel him in these woods with me.Sometimes, I can hear him calling out my name. He's gone, but he still lives in these woods.

For the rest of the morning Gale and I hunt deep in the forest, away from the prying eye. The squirrels never stand a chance when I'm in the woods, or at least that's what Gale likes to say. He says a lot of things and some of it isn't safe to say, but that doesn't stop Gale from ranting about the Capitol. If hatred could kill, then the Capitol would have been gone the first time Gale told me what he thought of our great President Snow. Gale isn't the only one, I hate him too, but my hatred doesn't need to be voiced. It's quiet, but it doesn't make it any less deadly.

When I get home my mother has the bath filled up and ready for me to get in. I scrub my body until I'm raw, stinging, and a light shade of pink. She gives me a pale blue dress to wear and does my hair in an intricate braided hairstyle. Her nimble fingers work fast as she ties the bow to my dress.

Prim walks into the room and sits quietly on the bed we share. "You look beautiful, Little Duck," I whisper. And I see the tears she is trying to hold back. "Better tuck in that tail of yours." I motion to the back of her shirt and tuck it back into her skirt. She smiles softly and I take her hand before wiping the one tear that managed to fall from her blue eyes.

We stand in designated groups at the reaping, boys on one side and girls on the other. Effie Trinket manages to walk onto the stage in her platform heals and tight dress. "I wonder who the lucky girl will be?" She says and I scowl at her, wondering why anyone considers a tribute "lucky". You never know who will be picked. It could be you, it could even be the girl right next to you.

As I stand and wait for Effie to announce the girl tribute, I wonder whose life will be taken away. Maybe I'll be lucky and get to live another year before the process starts all over again. When her hand dips into the bowl full of names my stomach drops at the thought of it being me. But, when she reads the name on the card my heart breaks into a million little pieces.

"Primrose Everdeen!"

A.N. That's it guys! I'm sorry if it's a little choppy, this is my first fan fiction ever. I can't wait to embark on this journey with y'all!