A Little Bit Stronger

Chapter One

     I never thought that my life would end up the way it is now. Many nights I will lay awake at night and wonder to myself where the little girl with the bright eyes and smile disappear to. Sometimes I even try to pin down the moment when she was lost forever. Then I realize that doing so is entirely impossible, I didn't lose the girl I used to be in a single moment, but in a multitude of events that slowly turned me into who I am. 

     I had always been shy. No one ever took a second look at the pale, hazel eyed, blond that wasn't good at making friends. I guess that as I grew up I became thankful for that. I didn't want anyone to know about what I was going through. That is most true about where I am now. Sixteen years old, depressed, shy. I'm pretty much a loner and that's the way I like it. No one around to ask me if I'm okay or if I need help. No boyfriend to complicate my already messed up life. I will admit that at times I get lonely and wish that I wasn't this way, but things are best this way. 

      "Lacey!"

     "Yes, Mom..." I knew nothing good could come from going out to the living room where she was set up with a bottle of vodka in one hand and a cigarette in the other, but I had no choice. 

     "What have you been doing all day? Dinner isn't ready and you know how Martin gets when there isn't dinner when he gets home" her words slurred as she spoke and I knew better than to answer he questions when she was drunk.

     "I'll get on it, Mom." I replied.

     I knew all to well how Martin, my mother's off and on boyfriend, got when I didn't do everything by the time he was home from being with one of his many "friends". I walked into our tiny kitchen and opened the fridge, nearly empty of course. I decided to order a pizza, to exhausted to try to through something together. I would go get groceries tomorrow when I got my paycheck. I called and placed an order for delivery and busied myself with cleaning the kitchen and dining room. 

     All I could hope was that Martin would be in a good mood when he got home. He was terrifying when he wasn't. Given he wasn't a ball of sunshine when he was in a good mood either. He's scrawny and tall, with a long goatee that makes him look like a perv. He was sickly looking and rude, always looking down on everyone, especially me. I had to make everything perfect. I had to be perfect of suffer the consequences.