NICOTINE || Alex Ramos

Chapter 13

Song for this chapter: Apologize by Timbaland ft. One Republic

"How she screamed and cried for you, you prick." I was now furious, not quite sure why. "She left, unprotected and on her own. All because Ava told her you didn't need her, and the worst part is...I think she even believed it."

Sarah's P.O.V
"Sarah, I'm sorry I didn't know..." he begged and pleaded for my forgiveness but I just laughed in his face the same way he seemed to laugh in mine. "Alex, save it. Okay? Does it look like I give a fuck? You texted me that shit because you meant it, can you just fucking leave now? I'm expecting company." His apology didn't phase me, because I couldn't see or feel the meaning in it. "Sarah, please I...Will told me the truth, I swear I didn't know." He tried once more. He followed me to the bathroom as I retrieved two aspirins. I handed him the two small pain relievers and said "Take these, you're clearly delusional from what happened. Plus, you're not hearing me clearly...get out of my house, and leave me alone. Did you hear me that time?" I slowly pronounced my words, hoping he'd get the hint. He graphically whipped the pills against the tile behind me, causing me to flinch before he turned around and started to leave. He turned back around to face me and growled "You know what Sarah...fuck you, burn in hell, you bitch!" His words were hesitant at first, but he meant what he said and his words stung. "You already did fuck me and I'll meet you down there, babe." I sarcastically smirked, closing and locking the door behind him. "Fuck!" I heard his muffled voice from the opposite end of the door. I angrily scrunched my face and stuck up my middle finger in his direction even though he couldn't see my kind gesture. "Ooo I hate you Alex Ramos. I fucking hate you." I hissed under my breath.

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"Harder." I softly moaned. "You like that?" He groaned as he pushed himself further inside of me. "You're so tight." He kissed down my neck. I rolled my eyes as he came, me not even half way to my high, laying there awkwardly unfinished. He climbed off of me and pulled on his pants. "We still on for tonight?" He asked me as I uncomfortably hid myself in my sheets. I slid it off my face saying "You know what, Joey... I kinda forgot I have an appointment early in the morning. Could we possibly reschedule?" I lied, hoping he wouldn't catch on. "Yeah sounds great, just let me know." I let him out to then be greeted by Lauren pushing herself in. "Why are you here?" I asked her. "Why are you in a sheet?" She ignored my question. "Touché." I grinned. "I just...I miss you. I miss all of you, but I feel like me and you are the ones biting our lips here and I'm just...I'm sorry." She babbled. "What are you sorry for?" I laughed. "Nothing happened between us." I informed her. "I kissed Alex and I know about you two. Will told me and I felt like you hated me and I couldn't sit around any longer thinking I lost my best friend." She frowned. "Babe, there is nothing between me and Alex...if you couldn't already tell." I gestured to the sheet covering my body and the door the guy just previously exited. She chuckled and said "Joey? Damm he's a hunk." With a joking wink. "But more like a grandpa in bed." I pretended to be disgusted in a jokingly matter. "Wha...wait, wait, wait. I just realized what you said...you talked to Will?" I was taken by surprise. "Yeah, I finally decided answer one of his calls and we ended up talking for hours. We're not together, we just caught up and talked like we normally would. I don't know it just feels different between us, ya know? Like I don't feel like that trust is there anymore. I just expected so much better from him, I didn't think he'd ever hurt me like this or ever make me have to wonder about where he is and what he's doing constantly. I just never thought he was a person that was capable of that." I grabbed her hand in mine and tried to comfort her the best I could. "I'd rather continue this when you have clothes on." She mumbled, causing us to seperate from our embrace.

Alex's P.O.V
"Alex, mhmm. Oh my God!" She moaned. "Oh, Sar..." I was seriously losing my mind, but I caught myself. "Fuck Ava, I can't do this." I pulled myself out of her, quickly dressed myself and left her there embarrassed, not even caring that I left her alone in my house as I walked out the door. "I'm officially going insane." I ran my hands over my face, hoping to wake myself from this nightmare. "I hate her, I hate her, I hate her...I fucking hate her. God, I hate her." I grumbled as I kicked at the rocks on the ground.

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The alcohol warmed my body and I felt it as it ran through my veins, slowly numbing me. "Here's to being an idiot...and a loser." I slurred, lifting my shotglass to 'cheers' with myself. "And a moron...and a worthless sack of shit...and an idiot...wait, did I? Ah fuck off, world. Fuck you God, fuck you Will, fuck you Sarah, fuck you Lauren. Fuck everyone." I cursed to myself, as my mind grew unstable and my body became heavy. Before I could comprehend what happened, I was face down on my bedroom carpet, too drunk to notice and too dumb to care.

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My eyelids struggled to open, feeling heavy and baggy as I peeled my irritated face from the carpet. I rubbed at my eyes trying to see more clearly, but at the same time I didn't want to. I wanted to be numb again and I wanted things to remain blurry, it kept my mind off things. "Good, you're alive." Her voice spoke. I sat up and squinted my eyes trying to see her even though I knew who it was. "What do you want?" I looked away from her and let my sight fall between my legs at my phone. "3 Missed Calls from: WILLLL"

WILLLL: Dude, call me back wtf

"Ava, go home." I swallowed the vile about to rise in my throat. "No, you're not okay." She pushed. "I know I'm not okay, you don't think I know that? You don't think I see that?" I snapped, standing up a bit to quickly, leaving me dizzy. "You need help, Alex." She eyed me like I was crazy, she almost seemed disgusted by me. "I don't," I let out a sigh of defeat before completely breaking down. "I need help, I know I need help." I cried. "I'm depressed as fuck and I...I feel so lost, I feel so alone and worthless." I looked up from the carpet, tears still falling from my bloodshot eyes but she wasn't even standing there anymore. She left me like everyone else does, she seen the real me and left. Fuck not being good enough for anybody, fuck myself and fuck everything about me and my fucked up life. I don't belong here anymore.

A/N: I think this is a pretty sucky chapter to be honest, but how do you feel about the sex with other people? What do you think they're feeling towards one another? COMMENT, COMMENT, COMMENT! I love you all, thank you for all your support, votes, and love I don't deserve you guys. I love you so much and I can't possibly thank my readers enough. xoxo