NICOTINE || Alex Ramos

Chapter 23

Song for this chapter: 5 O'clock by T-Pain ft. Wiz Khalifa, Lily Allen

The familiar face filling my head as I tried to put a name to the guy before me that held my hand in his with a firm handshake. "Holy shit, dude I haven't seen you in years." I finally realized who is was. "And who might this be?" His eyes moved towards the Sarah at my side. He shook her hand, introducing himself to her. "This is Sarah...my girlfriend."

Lauren's P.O.V
For the past couple of hours, I kept catching my mind wandering back to John. "Babe, what's wrong?" Will pushed. "Wh- oh, nothing. I'm just a little off today." I shook him from my thoughts, trying to focus on Will.

After a few more minutes passed, I couldn't stand the mind-numbing thoughts much longer. "We need to take a break." I blurted out, soon after covering my mouth, trying to analyze what I just did. "Wha- Wha- Why?" he shot up, just staring into my eyes, his gaze so deep it was cutting through me. "I love you, Lauren. I'm tired of these games." his words made my body fill with instant rage. "These games? These games wouldn't be in our relationship if you wouldn't have done what you did." I poked at his chest. "I made a mistake and I owned up to it. We've been over this so many times, why are you doing this to me now?" his face fell as he tried to reach for my hands. "What you did to me wasn't just some little thing I can just forget about. It is always there in the back of my mind, when I sleep, when I do anything it just...I can't get rid of it. It's not like I want it to stick around, it just won't leave. I wake up and it hits me and then my day is already ruined. I lay down for bed and it just ruins my entire night of sleep, I toss and turn and I picture your hands on her. It fucking kills me to live like this everyday. I kept believing that getting back together would make me forget about it all, make my feelings come back, but some of them are still lost and they can't seem to find the way back to where I thought they belonged. I'm tired of forcing this on myself when I don't even know if this is what I want anymore." I was now crying, keeping my distance from the man I thought I loved. "We can make this work, please baby. I can't be without you. We can't just leave everything behind, we're so far ahead." he begged. "But we're actually not." I couldn't catch my breath as I started gasping for air due to my amount of sobbing.

Sarah's P.O.V
Lauren texted me saying she needed to talk to me and by the time she got here, that's all she did. Talk and tears. I felt so bad for her, for both of them honestly. I just don't know how to comfort her, I don't know what she wants me to say and I don't want to mess up and make it worse then what it already is. "I need to choose between a guy I've been with for almost two years and a guy I've only known for a couple weeks." she flailed her arms around, I could sense she was nervous and slowly tearing herself apart. "It's whatever you want, you don't need to choose based on how long you've known each of them, you need to pick who you think is best for you." I reassuringly placed my hand on her shoulder. "That's the problem, I don't know who the fuck is best for me because it seems like both of them are pulling me by my arms right now!" Shit, I knew I should've never opened my mouth.

"Babe, I'm leaving. I'll text you when I'm on my way back." Alex bent down to my couch level and kissed the side of my mouth. He glanced at Lauren before looking back to me and whispering, "Good luck." before pulling my head towards him and kissing my forehead. He rushed out of his own house to meet with his old friend that he ran into at the mall the other day.

"Where the hell is he going?" she used the shredded looking tissue to wipe at the corner of her eyes. "Some club with his friend." I pushed it to the side, not worried about what he was doing. "So do you like live here now?" she questioned, but I realized it was keeping her mind off of the other things. "Yeeeh---no? Yes? I have no idea." I admitted. "How do you not know?" she lightly laughed. "Hey, see! We're getting somewhere." I gestured to her amused smirk. "I don't know because he never asked me to physically move in, but I'm always here, so who knows?"

I did everything to keep her mind off of things and the later it got, the better she felt and that was all I wanted. "I'm getting tired, I think I'm gonna start heading home." she yawned, trying to peel her eyes from the movie on the screen.

"Are you sure you'll be okay here alone?" she asked as she made her way out the door. "Yeah, Alex should be back soon." "Okay, I'll probably see you tomorrow or something." She hugged me before closing the door behind her. I sat there and thought about it for a couple seconds and I found myself opening the door once more. "Hey, wait! Didn't you walk here?" I called out to her. "Yeah, why?" she turned around. "Let me get my keys, I'll drive you." She didn't even protest and I was glad because I definitely needed something to do.

I rushed up to Alex's room to find my keys and my shoes that he always seems to loose in his messy ass room. I unlocked the car doors from the bedroom window so that she didn't have to stand out there as I put on my shoes.

"Who's that?" I tried to focus my eyes on the person standing in front of Lauren's apartment complex. "I don't kn- You've got to be kidding me." she stared out the windshield at the person who I still couldn't make out. "It's John." I took in a deep breathe before thanking me for the ride and stepping out. "Follow your heart." I leaned to look at her before she shut the door and made her way towards him. I forced a relieving grin to my face before backing out and making my way back to Alex's.

I continued to wait for a text message from him, informing myself that he's just out having fun. I forced myself upstairs to his bed so that I could try and get some sleep, but as soon as the clock hit 5 A.M. I gave up.

Just as I was about to drift off, I was taken by surprise as the familiar arms wrapped themselves around my waist. "I missed you." his warm, breath fanned across the back of my neck. The scent of alcohol was strong, but the feeling of him beside me took away every unnecessary thought. "I missed you more." I rolled over, burying my face into his chest.

A/N: This chapter gives me so many mixed emotions, I don't know whether to cry or die. I'm posting a note to my profile in a couple of minutes about a vacation that I am going on tomorrow, I would highly appreciate if you would read it. I honestly cannot thank you guys enough for everything you do, I can't believe we are only a couple hundred reads from 3K! Love you!