kitten

Chapter One Circus

Chapter Song: Carousel by Melanie Martinez

"God Mai-Mar, have a little dignity. No way are you going to school in a skirt that short," his voice comes from my doorway as we lock eyes in my body length mirror. "Toulouse calm down, you're my brother not my father," I remind him. "Look I know I'm not your dad. But I still need to look after you don't I?" He is the master of rhetorical questions. But only when it comes to me.

"So you'll change your skirt?" He says to push his point. "Don't worry, I'll wear something school appropriate," I tell him and walk over to shut the door so I can finish getting ready in peace. Once he's out I head to my dresser and pull out a pair of black tights. They're a little sheer just the way I like them and a perfect match for the black skirt I'm sporting that stops mid thigh.

I pull on a sweater that falls down to my butt. Perfect for this snowy cold weather coming in. I decide that because it's Thursday and school will most likely be cancelled due to weather tomorrow throwing my hair into a high messy bun will be okay. Once I have it styled the way I want I head downstairs not caring enough to put much makeup on.

Toulouse is finishing up making pancakes when I make it to the kitchen. "Can you put chocolate chips in mine please," I ask going to the pantry so I can get some soup ready for my lunch. He puts the pancakes all on one plate and sets them down on the island. "Can you grab the peanut butter?" I ask turning around a bottle of syrup in my hand the peanut butter already there and the pancakes already with chocolate chips.

"Wow Toulouse, you know me pretty well don't you?" I say grabbing us each a plate and then some milk for the pair of us. "Yeah well we've been living together forever so," he says smiling and picking up his preferred pancake. I sit down next to him and choose my own. After spreading peanut butter on it and dowsing it in syrup I quickly eat my breakfast and put my soup in a thermos.

I grab my combat boots and slip them on. "Okay, you need a coat as well," Toulouse says putting away our dishes. "I know," I tell him grabbing a coat. "And could you pull your skirt down please?" He asks. To humor him I do as he asks. He knows very well I'll just pull it back up but I think it gives him a false sense of security. I grab my school bag and keys and head of the door. "See you when I get back from hell," I say on my way out. "Have fun," he says his back turned.

I get in my car and wait a minute for the car to heat up before turning on the heaters. Once I'm all set I pull out of the driveway and head for Dunks. I get my coffee and start heading for school. I cringe as I pull into my parking space. I just need to make it through today and maybe tomorrow. I get out of my car as little snow flakes start falling.

I walk down the short side walk and into the school. I can feel the stares. As I walk down the corridors people stop talking and start whispering. It feels like their eyes can see straight through my small frame. No one has ever treated me the same since the accident.

I never had many friends to begin with, I always liked to keep to myself. People in this town have always been rather judgmental. Parents didn't like the idea of 'someone like me' being friends with their kids. That made kids keep their distance.

Once the first bell has rung after getting my books from my locker and checking in with my homeroom teacher I head towards first period English. A path opens in the sea of students in the hallway for me to walk through. It's like if I were too bump into anyone my 'absolute and utter weirdness' would rub off on them and infect their lives forever.

I keep my eyes trained on the floor in front of me. I've learned to appreciate shoes and what they say about a person's style. I step into the class and head for my usual seat in the back right corner of the room where all the good books are. I don't get picked on necessarily; Just avoided. After the rest of the class files in Mr. Roberts begins class.