These scars remind us that the past is real...

Him #2

How is that when she's with him she feels safe?

She shouldn't.

She's been hurt so many times that she shouldn't feel safe.

But she does.

And she loves him.

With all her heart she loves him.

But does he feel the same?

Does he feel the same rapid beat of his own heart?

The light headedness from just one small light kiss?

Does he smile like an idiot when thinking of something she said earlier that day?

Does he fall asleep think of her?

Does he really feel the same?

She can only go by what he tells her.

And what he tells her is that he loves her.

That she's amazing.

That she beautiful.

That he loves how he feels when he's with her.

That he wants to be with her for a long time

But a long time isn't forever.

A long time isn't being by her said when it's time to leave this dark and messed up world.

It's not holding her tight and telling her everything's going to be alright.

That she doesn't have to hide anymore.

That he's never leaving no matter how messed she's gotten in the past few years.

She wants forever not a long time.

Why can't she get over this feeling of needing him here with her to keep her safe?

That he's going to be there to catch her when she falls.

That when times get bad and scary, he's going to be there for her.

That he would never do anything to hurt her.

She want him with her now.

She's cold and numb and needs to feel safe again.

She can't feel safe in this house.

Not when she's is blamed.

And picked on.

And told she's not going to amount to anything if she keeps doing what she's doing.

She needs his strong arms to hold and his rough voice to say it's okay and that he's here for her forever.

She needs him and she wants him so bad she can feel him next to her.

But it's not enough.

She wants all of him.

For as long as she can have him.

And if he ends up wanting someone else,

She'll let him go.

All she wants is him to be happy. (No matter the lost.)