These scars remind us that the past is real...

White Trash Beautiful

Has your best friend, boyfriend or someone really close to you, ever told you to look up song?
And when you did look it up, you fell in love with song?
With the lyrics?
But have you ever played that song while laying in bed at night?
You finally really listen to the lyrics and think "are they saying this to me?"
...
...
"She married a boy from school. Thought he was oh so cool. But all he could do for money is drive... White Trash Beautiful, there's something you should know. My heart belongs to you. I know you could've found a better guy. I'll love you 'til the day I dye. I swear to God it's true. I'm coming home to you."
...
...
That's a song a about a boy and girl that meet in high school and fell in love with each other. He drove 18 wheelers as a way to make money. He loved her with all his heart. Even though he knows she could've found a guy that could give her everything she ever wanted... She wanted the boy she fell in love with back in high school. He's love for her will last until he dies. And he will always come back home to her.
...
...
So is that what my ex meant?
I really miss him and wish he was still mine...
But sadly that can't happen because he's moved on...
I thought I had but I was just lying to myself...
Who was I trying to kid anyways?
I know for a fact, I'm always gonna love the silly, redneck, who was first everything. Who has a bad habit of smoking and dipping.. Who (I will admit) use to drink and do drugs.. Who wouldn't shave his beard for while because he knew I grew to love kissing him with it.. Who would kiss me with a mouth full of dip knowing I hated the smell and taste (but didn't know I was slowly starting to love it...) Who sometimes has a really bad temper the collides with my short temper.. Who clams he's a country man but listen to rap music.. Who stole my heart the moment I kicked him in the shine for being mean to his sister.. Who helped me through my really bad times.. Who was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on..
He means the world to me even if he doesn't know it.
And trust me...
If I think the world of you, you mean a lot to me...
Not many people see the real me, behind the mask I put on every single day..
But if you do see the that scared little girl, hiding behind the mask, hopping no one sees how scared and weak she is...
Then I trust you with my life..

(2/3/16)
Screw all of this that dude a grade a mother fucking asshole!