•|Truce|• (joshler)

//02//

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***trigger warning***

tyler curled up on the bathroom floor. blood from his freshly cut wrists was dripping onto his white t-shirt.

he had managed to avoid cutting for three whole weeks before tonight but that all meant nothing now.
"your pathetic" his mind spat at him over and over.

today had been a particularly bad day for tyler. it started out okay, he was walking around the neighbourhood trying to get familiar with his new hometown when a group of kids around his age started approaching him.

he tried to avoid eye contact while nervously rubbing his palms down the side of his skinny jeans.
interacting with just one person was hard for tyler, so the group of around nine intimidating guys walking his way made him want to throw up right there. 

"your new in town right" one of the boys said when they reached where tyler was standing.
"y-yes I just moved here"
he wanted to get away from this situation as soon as possible.

the whole thing was becoming too much for him. the boys stood staring down tyler looking like they could attack at any minute. they started making fun of how awkward he looked and tyler couldn't blame them because he was still nervously rubbing his hands against the side of his jeans and staring at the ground feeling like he could pass out at any minute.

"um I should get going"  he rushed out
before taking a step to leave.
"but we're not done talking to you yet" the boy said with an harsh smirk on his face.
tylers brain was telling him to run, the tone of these guys voices confirmed that they weren't looking to befriend the new kid.
he made another attempt to get away but was harshly pulled back
"god he's such a fag look at him" another of the boys spoke up. And all his friends laughed while the boy stood grinning obviously pleased by the reaction of his words.

"just leave me alone"

"shut up faggot" one of them shouted before taking a swing at tylers cheek

tyler knew they were only using that word to try provoke him because he hasn't told anyone here he was gay but it still effected him all the same. in his old towns the bullying didn't usually start until people started realising he was into boys instead of girls.

the next two punches to his chest caused tyler to double over making it easy for the group to push him to the ground. he took a few more kicks to his stomach and head before blacking out.

when he woke a few minutes later his whole body was aching. he returned to his house and was glad no one was home so he could cry as loud as he wanted. he always felt worse when he had to suffer in silence it felt like a dirty secret when he had to bury his head into his pillow to prevent his family from hearing him crying. he didn't want them to know he was like this. he didn't want to disappoint them.

when he got to his room he went straight to the bathroom.

"your never going to make friends here your weird"

"everyone hates you"

"your a waste of life"

"i cant take this anymore"
tyler screamed tugging at his hair.

"no one cares about you. everyone's life would be so much easier if you weren't here"

the voice wouldn't stop. it never did until tyler couldn't focus on anything but the unwanted thoughts filling his mind.

that's how he ending up lying on his bathroom floor next to a bloody razor, crying so much he could barely breath.

he was feeling hopeless. he would do anything to get back to normal. he took his phone from his pocket and called the number. he said he wasn't going to call again but it was becoming a routine.

every time tyler winds up in like this, he ended up calling the stranger who's number was carved into the tree. something about his voice calmed tyler down and he actually seemed to care about him which was was nice.
but every time his mind and breathing returned to normal he felt extremely embarrassed and he regretted burdening this boy who seemed so lovely with all his pathetic problems. "i'm so sorry" tyler muttered over again "you don't deserve this i'm sorry" tyler repeated not giving the boy a chance to reply before hanging up leaving the boy on the other end feeling frustrated and sad because he wanted to get to know this boy when he wasn't having a breakdown. he wanted to help him. he would try to call or text the person that called him at random times to let out his troubles but he only ever responded when he was having a breakdown.

tyler sighed lying on his bed, he needs to stop calling the number. he clicked into the call logs on his phone to block and delete any traces of the number, but before doing so he found himself wanting to call and have a proper conversation with this guy.  all the conversations he had consisted of him sobbing inaudible words into the phone and the stranger replying with soothing sentences to calm me down.

"he won't even want to talk to me he thinks i'm insane and besides, i could never have a proper conversation with him after embarrassing myself so much" he hit the delete button and threw the phone on his bedside table before getting into bed and drifting off to sleep.
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Another sad chapter whoops :/