The Untold Story of Remus Lupin (and Tonks)

s i x

The next morning Remus woke and found himself sprawled across the table at Grimauld place, his head supported with a pillow, and his upper body covered in a dusty old blanket. He looked around him. It was still dark outside, but the sun had started to warm the morning air, and dew glazed the short grass. The Weasleys still seemed to be asleep as he couldn't hear the distinctive sound of Molly shuffling around the house, and the laughs and screams from one of her many children.

The house was quiet except gentle snoring coming from beside him. Tonks was sleeping peacefully, her head of pink hair was rested on the table. He looked down at her and smiled, noticing her hand latched onto his, her slim fingers wrapped around his larger hand. Not wanting to disturb her, he stayed where he was, hands still entwined, but shuffled his blanket and pillow into a more comfortable position.

There was a cough and Remus looked up quickly. Sirius' dark eyes stared back at him. He looked tired and distraught, eyes red and swollen.

Sirius gaze met his.
"How could you Remus." His voice was barely more than a whisper.
Remus froze.

"I waited all night and all morning for you. Your never came!" He practically bellowed.

"Do you have any idea what it's like? Twelve years I didn't know if you were alive or dead. I LOST EVERYONE! EVERYTHING!" He yelled, voice shaking.

"There were moments," he wiped a hand over his face, "when I thought maybe I could have done it. Maybe it was me after all and I was so wracked with guilt I had created some kind of... Some kind of different world."

Remus' eyes were wide with shock. He has never seen Sirius like this before. Always the witty one, the one who could make everything better with his snarky sense of humour.

"But then, I knew it wouldn't be me, because I would rather die than betray a friend. But that's what I'm doing, Remus, every time I let you walk out that door on a full moon it's like I'm betraying you. When you come back here covered head to toe in wounds, drenched in blood, I feel like I've failed again." His gravely voice was barely more than a whisper now.

"Sirius, no-" Remus began, but was cut off.

"Let me finish. I feel like I've failed again, like I did all those years ago with Lily and James. Do you have any idea how it feels when I hear you screaming? Molly and Tonks trying to save you, and Snape?" He spat his name in disgust. "Snape is allowed to help you but I can't?" There was an angry gleam in his eye.

"I've already found one of my best friends dead. I don't want to see another." He said softly.

Remus finally understood. He thought back to how he felt when he had been betrayed. All those times when he had thought that maybe it would be just easier to give it all up, that there was nothing left for him anymore, and then the guilt that followed those thoughts, like he was an insult to James' memory. Then he looked up at Sirius.

"You're right."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Of course I am." And Remus gave a slight smile.

"That's why, next full moon, I'm coming with you." Sirius said firmly.

"What? No. That's not happening. I'm too dangerous, I could hurt you, I could kill you." Remus spluttered.

"Bullshit and you know it." The two men matched each other's glares.
"Remus, look, I understand how guilty you feel about this, but I can take care of myself, it's my decision, but, if anything does happen..." He trailed off because Remus had visibly flinched.
"If anything does happen," he began again, "it will be entirely my fault."

"Padfoot-"

"Moony, you're my brother, and I would do anything for you, except let you have your way on this."

The two me stared at each other for a while, before Remus nodded.

"Okay."
There was a silence.

"Well go on then, hug it out!" Both heads whipped round to face Tonks who was now apparently wide awake.

"You heard it all then?" Sirius asked, looking amused.

"Hard not to, but for the record, I agree with Sirius."

"Thank you Tonks." He grinned approvingly at her, and she grinned back. Remus merely scowled.

"Once you two have don't ganging up on me, I'm going to make some tea." Said Remus, and began to try and slide off the table. Tonks looked down at their tangled hands, and she let out a small hiccup of surprise.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" She jumped away.

He chucked. "It's fine. Thanks for last night." And he smiled warmly at her.
She shook her head back, as if to say don't worry about it.

Remus turned his attention back to trying to sit up, but there was a tight bandage tied firmly around his chest which made this very difficult.

Sirius stood abruptly. "I'll do it. I'll go see if the others are up yet and find out if they want any too."
The other two nodded and he swiftly left the kitchen.

Remus was left in an awkward position, half sitting on the table, half standing on the floor. Tonks helped pull him back up into the table, which had obviously had some kind of softness charm cast over it, as it was not as uncomfortable to sleep on as he had thought it would be.

"I'm sorry about you having to sleep on the table." She apologised, but he shook his head.
"It was fine, it was actually quite comfortable, you did that?" He asked and she nodded, smiling.
"I'm sorry you had to sleep in that chair." He didn't think that would be very comfortable to sleep on.
"Someone had to keep watch." She grinned an then paused in thought.

The moment stretched on before Tonks finally spoke.
"You know you really are like a brother to him." Remus nodded. "He loves you, and he wants you to be safe, and so do I. You're not worthless, Remus, so please, let him come along with you. Your health matters just as much as everyone else's, I think sometimes you forget that. You promise me, Remus?"

He nodded once, a warm glow spreading to his heart.
"I promise."