evanescent » j.g

11.

lulu

               i haven't been taking the late train lately, i've been going early. but today, after a solid week, i ran late and had no choice but to take the late train if i didn't want to sleep on the streets tonight. and i didn't, so when i arrived, i saw jack. 

               i sucked in a sharp breath. 

               biting my lip, i sat on the bench he usually sat on since he was in my old spot. i felt instant eyes on me and i gulped. this was so awkward. 

               from the corner of my eye, i saw jack fiddling with his lip ring and red puffy eyes. instant worry flooded over me and i couldn't help but come to his aid. "w-what happened?" i was on my knees, taking his face into my hands. 

               and we just sat there, looking into each other's eyes in silence. suddenly, he started to move forward. "j-jack--" he paused, his lips just inches from mine and breath causing them to tingle. i wanted him to kiss me, it was exploding in me. but where did this desire come from?

               i was just this young girl who couldn't possibly end up with a man like him. "we can't, i--"

               his shoulders sunk, head dropping on my shoulder. i began to feel wetness on my shoulder and hear the sounds of light whimpering. i wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he dropped to my level. i knew something was happening. "you want to tell me who hurt you?"

               his head sided into my neck and i felt a shiver flow up my back. he simply shook his head and we stayed like that until the train came.

  ○ ○ ○  

               we stepped into his apartment, it's size small enough for at least two people to live in. he tosses his keys on his bookcase, plopping onto his couch to sigh deeply. i still stood in front of the door, looking around uncomfortably. 

              i haven't really been in someone else's home in awhile so i felt like i shouldn't touch anything. i sit nicely on the couch next to him, staring at his exhausted figure. his lean, muscular body was decorated with a white button-up with some pants, nothing too special. 

               but it was noticeably wrinkled. "i quit my job."

               my head snaps up to his face which was staring up at the ceiling. "why?"

               "i-i was sleeping with my boss." my heart sunk. "so it was willing consent?"

                he shakes his head in deep thought. "i was so weak, lulu. i was a virgin and she took that from me and i just let her." his hand fisted the material of the couch. "i-i just let her take it, i'm so fucking stupid." 

                "she made me feel dirty afterwards, i cried some days alone in bed. i-i didn't expect my life to turn out like this, a complete mess..."

               i bit my lip, "i'm sorry for yelling at you when--"

               "no! it was my fault, i should've thought before i said anything. i didn't mean to offended you." jack interrupted me, looking at me with sad eyes. i only smiled small. 

               the silence consumed us, swallowing us whole as we sat there. "i-i really w-want to kiss you, lulu." his words shock me, my eyes widening at his words of confession. 

                "i-uh i..."

               "i just can't help it, i feel so attached to you. it's like, the spaces between us keep getting deeper." he says, moving closer to me. my breath hitched up in my throat. "but we can't, i'm just a teenager and you're a grown man."

                "it's just a number, baby." i felt my skin stand on end. 

                 "please.." i say, his face now just inches from mine. "tell me you don't want this, i'll stop. just.." he leaned even closer and i felt need for his lips boiling inside of me. i felt overwhelmed with the desire to feel him against me. 

               his lips brushed against mine, and i felt all the breath get knocked out of me. "jack.."

               he pressed his lips against mine and i felt myself lunge for him my hands became tangled in his soft hair and our lips molding together. i bite his lip which make him moan which irked me to pull him closer. he seemed to realize something and he pulled back, ripping his plump lips away from mine.

               "i'm sorry, i-- i'm so sorry." his hand covered his lips, hurriedly heading to his room. i sat there, confused and bothered.

NOTE /////

ooooooo, idek.

-alaira (aka jack's babyboo)