evanescent » j.g

12.

jack

               i knew i shouldn't of kissed her, such a young girl, so vulnerable and pure. i was an adult whilst she was minor, but i couldn't stop myself. i wanted it so bad that i threw my morals out the window just to have a taste of what was forbidden.

               but i shouldn't have done it nonetheless, and that's what made me regretful of my decision to try and pursue with such a young girl. 

               what was wrong with me?  

                i got out of my bed, better than when i first laid down while shaking in fear. my ran my tongue along my lips, it tasted sweet, it tasted like lulu. it was so wrong to love the taste and lick my lips again to savor it. 

                i opened my door, walking out into the narrow hallway to the living room where lulu was sound asleep. for awhile, i stared at her, watching body readjust itself and the air passing in & out of her plump lips. she was so beautiful.

                 well, duh she's beautiful since you love her. my conscious scolded. my eyes widen, my breathing ceasing. i love her? no, i don't, it's not love. maybe i like her, but not love, that's too big. i began to breath again, going into to deep thought. but then i heard a whimper.

                 lulu was tossing and turning, little incoherent words coming out her mouth. "please, i-i can do it... no don't..." i cautiously walked over to her. i leaned down, biting my lip. "what's wrong, lulu?"

                 "n-nothing, i.. i can do it myself."

                  "what is it?" wow, i think i'm turning into a fucking psycho for talking to a girl who was asleep like it was normal to do.

                  "leave me, alone." her cute little nose scrunched up in a weak scowl. i stroked it with my fore finger, feeling the smoothness of it. "d-dad, stop.." i paused and looked up at her. "stop what?"

                  "stop drinking..." she mumbled before turning over and hugging a throw pillow. her dad was an alcoholic? how did he die? questions rushed throughout my head, but i pushed them out before walking back to my bedroom to get some sleep.

NOTE /////

sorry for not updating lately, but here it is. :-)

-alaira (sleepy af rn)