The Game of Hearts

40 // Your Life Starts Now

Chapter 40 - Your Life Starts Now

"I need some shelter of my own protection, baby

Be with myself in center, 

Clarity, Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to do with you

It's personal, myself and I

We got some straightening out to do"

Kiara's POV

The funny thing about life is that you always think you're immune to the bad things that occur in it. You always think you'll somehow be able to be superior to disgrace, that you'll walk over it in style. You always think you'll be strong enough to not break down, but when the moment finally comes, everything comes crashing down and so do you.

I didn't let that happen to me with Matthew and Aiden, but unfortunately, it did happen with James Miller. I thought everything was okay in one second, and suddenly in the other everything was wrong. All my life I had stated that I would never allow myself to cry for a boy, that I would never let anyone break me, that I would not let anyone come near me, destroying my walls and tearing me apart while doing so.

But James Miller was a hurricane I wasn't ready for. No one warned me for this. Thinking I'd be stronger than a teenage love was a foolish supposition to do, one that I could only form before I actually fell in love.

And it was terrifying, giving your heart to someone like that. Giving away the power, allowing them to have control over you, to affect you in a way no one else could. And with one single word or action they could destroy everything that you had fought for, everything that you believed in.

But then again, as much as you tried to fight it, as much as you tried to prevent yourself from being in love, you couldn't. No one had that kind of control and all you could do was give in to it.

And I had gave in it to it and now James Miller had my heart still. As much as I hated it, he still had it, and I didn't know when I would be able to get it back. And that single thing scared me and upset me more than anything else.

But I came to the decision that it was time to stop the crying, the babbling, the anger I felt towards him, for he didn't deserve it. A part of me knew Andrea had influenced him and taken advantage of his feelings for her, but that didn't give him the right to do everything she demanded just to win her love, particularly because he had said so himself, that their love wasn't a real thing but more of a fling.

Matthew had told me he had spoken with Andrea, but he didn't told me what in concrete they had talked about, and I hadn't asked. I didn't really care, to be honest. Senior year was almost over and I had had enough drama for a lifetime. All I wanted now was to focus on this last few months of the last year, graduate from school, deal with colleges and row in competitions.

Looking back at junior year, everything looked so much simpler and plain. Everything was easier, and I was different back then. Reticent to love and to life really. I was more open now and I had made good friends, despite how all may have started.

Everyone seemed to have their lifes mapped out. Ellie and Cameron would return to England next year, Cameron would start a job as a reporter and Ellie would study in a Drama college.

Roxy was going to study in Canada as she had family there. She had received a rowing scholarship she was much proud of. As to Lori, she was sad that she and Cameron would have to break up, because none of them believed in long distance relationships. She decided to take a year before going to college to do an internship in a fashion magazine, which was perfect for her.