39 // Proud of Myself

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Chapter 39 - Proud of Myself


"I'm not the type to get my heart broken

I'm not the type to get upset and cry

Cause I never leave my heart open

(...)

My mind is gone, I'm spinning round

And deep inside, my tears I'll drown

I'm losing grip

What's happening?

I stray from love, this is how I feel


This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And it cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I'm in this condition

And I've got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart"


Matthew's POV

When I found out about James playing with Kiara's heart, I thought it was a joke. When Kiara finally decided to tell me what had been going on with her, I thought she was kidding. I wanted her to be kidding because there was no way in hell she could possibly be going through all that again.

I had noticed how she had been distant from me the past few weeks, but I thought it was because she didn't know how to deal with me after breaking my heart and telling me she was with James. But when I realized everyone seemed different – Dylan, Ellie, Aiden – my suspicious started to grow. I intercepted them multiple times but no one told me anything, not even Aiden, even if I could see in his eyes that it was killing him hiding this from me.

So I knew the only way I could get her to talk to me was to be alone with her and demand her to tell me what was bothering her. In order to do that, I approached her at school in an April afternoon once classes for the day had finished.

"Kiara, we need to talk."

She looked behind her shoulder and her eyebrows furrowed, her grip in her books tightening.

"That never ends well." Her voice was automatic, sarcasm dripping off of it.

I took some steps towards her and grabbed her arm to make her turn around.

"You know, it hurts me that everybody knows what's going on but me. Is it something related to me? If it's because of you and James, I--"

Her eyes widened.

"You know?"

My nose wrinkled in confusion.

"Of course I know, you told me... that you were with him."

Kiara sighed, and it was a sigh of tiredness, not relief. It broke my heart seeing her like that. The Kiara who was always so strong, who always stood for what she believed in, was now so vulnerable, so broken. But after all even the strongest person wasn't unbreakable.

"Just... whatever it is that has been bothering you... I'd like to know. I hate seeing you like this, I hate feeling helpless."

Kiara nodded.

"I understand."

"Okay. So are you going to tell me—"

"James has been playing with me." She cut me off and her eyes showed no emotion. Whoever this person standing in front of me was, it was becoming more of a robot each day.

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