You And Me

thirty-one.

I'm guessing, Parker, that for several reasons you are ignoring me.

And that's okay, actually. I know it's my own fault, and I guess it's up to me to fix things.

I'm sorry. I didn't know what came over me at that point, and I wish it never happened, because look where it got me now. I guess I'm just afraid.

But now that I think about it, maybe this is a good thing. Maybe I really don't deserve someone like you to love me. Maybe you're fit for someone else.

Because look at us. We have to keep everything in secret. Don't you just want a girl whom you could have a normal relationship with?

But even if this does happen, Parker, and I know there's a big possibility that it will - I won't stop until I finish this book.

Because like I said, no matter what happens, I will still love you. And that love is the fuel and the inspiration of this book. And that love is the only thing that keeps me going sometimes.

So if you somehow manage to read this, Parker, then let me tell you one more time, for it can be the last time I can ever say it to you.

I love you. I love you. I love, love, love you.

And I don't care if you don't love me too, because these are of my own feelings. It's not your fault if you don't reciprocate it.

But I do love you. Honestly and truthfully, Parker.

And I guess I'm sad because there's a huge possibility now that we might break apart. All because of my stupidity.

I think you already know how idiotic and messed up I am.

But I love you.