guilt • phan

Chapter 4

Phil's POV

I didn't sleep very well that night, after the horrible experience that my subconsciousness had decided to put me through. I only realized the time when my alarm went off, only now noticing that I didn't sleep at all. I groaned and kicked my duvet away, immediately regretting that choice as my bedroom felt like it was located in the middle of fluffing Antarctica. Luckily, my closet was only a few feet away from my double bed, so I swung my feet over the edge and sprinted towards my closet. I wasn't really feeling like colors today so I decided to go with a pair of black skinny jeans and a grey button-up. I quickly pulled two extremely mismatching socks out of my sock drawer, not caring about the color as they were going to be inside my shoes anyways. My navy blue backpack was waiting for me on my desk, so I swung it over my shoulders and slouched down the stairs.

My mom was already waiting for me at the breakfast table and a bowl of colorful cereal was placed directly in front of me the moment I sat down in one of the chairs. "Hi honey, good morning. Did you sleep well?" she smiled. I looked down at the mixture of colorful chemicals and milk in my bowl and said "Yeah, fine."

The moment I opened the front door a cold wind hit me in my face, reminding me of the upcoming winter. The time for cozy hoodies and knit sweaters. Thank god. I inhaled deeply, cold air prickling in my nose, mentally preparing myself for the day that was to come. I closed the door and started walking in the general direction of the hellhole that was school.

My head dropped immediately when I turned around the corner, entering the school property. My hands fumbled with my earphones as I put on Resistance by Muse. That way the music would block out the insults that would be thrown at me the moment I entered the building. I had maths first, so I made my way towards the maths classroom. The bell rang the exact second I set foot inside the room, reminding me I was late again. I looked up ever so slightly, only to find that every single seat was taken except for one in the front of the classroom. Luckily it was a single table so there was no risk of someone deciding to sit next to me. Thank god.

Classes went by pretty quickly and without insults, which was a rare occasion.

But then came lunch break.

I would usually eat my lunch in the library, but as I was running late this morning, I had forgotten to pack my lunch so I had 2 options. Either not eating anything or getting lunch in the cafeteria. I sighed loudly and decided to head towards the cafeteria because I was starving and I wouldn't survive if i did not eat anything. I pushed open the doors to the large room, only to be greeted with loud chatter and obnoxious laughter. My heart was beating at top speed and I quickened my pace. That turned out to be a bad idea, because being the klutz I was, I, of course, tripped over someones foot. Laughter erupted from the tables surrounding me, and I looked up to see whose foot I had tripped over.

But this time, the oh-so-familiar chocolate brown eyes didn't greet me with evil and anger.

It was something else.

It was something non-hostile.

This time, it was guilt.