guilt • phan

Chapter 5

Dan's POV

When I got out of bed that morning, everything felt different than usual. That dream got to me somehow.

I stumbled to my wardrobe, and pulled out the blackest outfit I could find. This time, I went with a black T-shirt that said 'Tumblr.' in black letters and a pair of black jeans. I'm secretly a giant nerd, I guess. When I pulled open the sock drawer, I found out it was empty, except for one single black sock.

Fucking sock goblins.

My mom walked in on my while I was on my stomach, reaching for another sock under my bed. Of course. "Daniel, what in the world are you doing. Get off your lazy butt and do something useful, it's almost 8 for God's sake!" she screeched. She's a lovely person, don't get me wrong, but she has a talent for getting on your nerves. I groaned in frustration as I tried to grab the sock. No such luck, the sock was out of my reach. Having a double bed has it's downsides. So instead, I got up and walked over to the piano that was in my room. I looked behind it, hoping for more socks.

There was a pile of socks and I was wondering how they got there.

"Just blame it on the sock goblins," I whispered to myself as I pulled out a sock. In one quick move, I threw all my belongings in my backpack and hoisted it up on my shoulder. Half running, half tripping, I made my way downstairs for breakfast. When I stumbled into the kitchen, I threw a glance at the clock. School started at 8:45 and it was 8:27, good job me. I had exactly 3 minutes to make cereal and eat it.

I arrived at school at 8:49. We will call it fashionably late. I was in such a hurry that I didn't see the door of the maths classroom swinging open right as I wanted to turn around the corner, so, me being me, I walked into it face first. The person at the other side of the door must have heard and/or felt the impact, because apologies started to flow half a second later. I was already late and because of this dumb shit, I would never ever get away with it. I was about to slam the door shut so I could pass, when suddenly, I recognized the soft voice that had apologized to me. Memories of last night flooded my mind and I closed the door to confirm my suspicions. It was Phil. He was clearly in shock as he realized who exactly bumped into the door he had opened, and his face fell. He looked up at me and we locked eyes for a second, before he quickly looked away in fear. Quietly, but quickly, he shuffled back a few feet. At first I wondered why, but then I understood. He thought I was going to hit him. He is afraid of me. Scenes of last night's nightmare flashed before my eyes: his eyes as I placed the first note on his chest, the fear in his eyes. Fag. Kill yourself. Ugly. Fat.

It all came back, and it hit me like a bus.

So I ran. I just ran to class and left him standing there. I did not want to hurt him, so I ran away from my 'responsibilities' like I always tend to do.