Accidental Housemate

26: regretting

fear has a quiet voice.
it does not tell you to run.
it simply gives you reasons
to.

REGRETTING

. . . 

Being jobless wasn’t bad, in that I could sleep and wake up whenever I wanted.

Unless my ringing phone awakened me.

Please be Dave. Please be Dave.

Ellen.

I cursed my luck and picked up slowly. “Hi, Ellen,” I slurred.

She took a moment before she finally said, “Hey... Good morning. I’m just calling to let you know I’m ready to turn in the evidence I have against Hannah to the police. I know you feel uneasy about it, so I want to make sure you’re not held back because of my situation. Let me know when you can accompany me to the police station.”

I sat up and pursed my lips. “What about your... marriage?”

“I told my husband myself. Better than learning from someone else. I’ll deal with him on my own, be it divorce or acceptance, although I doubt the latter.”

She paused, and honestly, I didn’t know what to say, or if I had to say anything.

“Don’t think about my marriage now. Hannah and the manager need to face the consequences. I prefer it happening this way, rather than hiding it and worrying about it until it blows up.”

Wise of her, and that took the ethical burden off my shoulder.

“Good on you, Ellen. I’ll never forget the favour. If it weren’t for you recording that, I might have never had a shot at saving my reputation. Thank you.”

“No problem. It’s what needs to be done.”

“So... Tomorrow morning?”

“Sure. See you tomorrow. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I put the phone aside and rubbed the sleepiness from my face. That was good news. At least something was going the right way.

When I looked around the house, I couldn’t find Courtney. I figured she was gone... filming. I took the chance to unpack my things and settle down.

For a second, I considered going back to the same work. Although the thought disgusted me, I needed to actualise the money I had was finite and would run out if spent uselessly and not invested. I had saved a lot to buy a flat and didn’t plan to spend it stupidly after all my hard work.

However, I didn’t want that kind of work.

In the end, the idea of working an atrocious job like that was pursued to move on.

I considered going out later to find anything I could do, call any job offer I could find, even a low-paying waitress job. Better than worrying about the upcoming months. In my state, securing only the few upcoming weeks would be an achievement.

I ate whatever I could find in the fridge, then went for a run outside. The weather was getting better and warmer, so why not? Besides, I really needed the activity to regulate my thoughts and stress.

While running, I passed by someone who smelled just like Dave. His scent, his usual perfume.

I stopped in my tracks, as my legs could no longer go on. I hunched over and tried to catch my breath, which felt harder than I expected.

So, every time I’d smell such a fragrance, I would remember him and feel weak to the bone? Torture.

God, how long had it been since I felt this attached or attracted to a man?