It's Too Late

Chapter 16

I woke up feeling better, but I could still feel this long ache in my chest. I feel bad about what I did to Ross, but none of it would've happened if he wouldn't have kept pushing me to change my mind about just being friends. None of this would've happened if I hadn't invited him into my house. I should've known what was going to happen. My thoughts were interrupted by a text message. I rolled over and picked up my phone. The text was from Ross. Should I open it? Curiosity got the best of me so I opened it.

Ross- We need to talk.

Emily- Meet me at the park.

It's a Sunday morning. I am not going to have this conversation with Ross at my house with my parents home. I threw on a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, slipped on my converse, and attempted to put my hair in a messy bun. I grabbed my phone and my skate board then made my way to the park. I took the longer way to the park because I didn't want to be the first one to arrive. Ten minutes later I got there, and Ross was sitting on a bench twisting and spinning the rings on his fingers and pulling on his hair. He looks like he belongs in a nut house, no offense, but he looks like he's kind of going crazy. Once as Ross saw me walking up to him shock and relief covered his face as he stood up shoving his hands into his pockets.

"You wanted to talk?", I said standing in front of him.

"I was worried you wouldn't show up after what you told me yesterday", he said.

"I said I'd meet you here didn't I?". I said sitting down on the bench that Ross was previously sitting on.

"Right", he said sitting back down on the bench. "I wanted to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of the things I said yesterday. I was just upset and hurt. I didn't want to leave you, but I wanted to think and process everything before I opened my big mouth and say something stupid. So I thought about it , and I just want to pretend that yesterday never happened", Ross explained. Easy for him to say. "But then I thought again, and it's not just about what I want so I agree that we should start over and be friends, then see what happens from there."

I nodded. "I would like that", I said smiling. Ross returned the smile.

"It's going to be hard, but I really want things to work out between me and you. If being friends is what it takes then that's what I'm going to do", he said looking into my eyes. Snap out of it!

"I feel the same", I breathed out. This is going to be hard. I'm used to lying to myself about my feelings towards Ross, but I just lied to him. Did he notice I was lying?

"Friends?", Ross said holding his hand out. "Friends", I said shaking his hand. I'm surprised that we're actually agreeing to this whole friends thing. Ross and I both know that being just 'friends' is something that we don't want. We both want to be more than friends, and we know it. Who will be the first to admit it though?

"So what do you want to do friend?", I said lightly punching his arm.

"I don't know. What do you want to do friend!", Ross said lightly punching my arm. There was definitely still unresolved tension between us. You could feel it in the air. Who will be the first to admit that us being just friends is impossible? Not me.

"We could go get lunch like friends do?", I suggested punching his arm a little harder than before.

"That sounds like something friends would do", he said punching my arm just as hard as I punched his. Now I'm wondering whole will be the one to state that we are trying way too hard at trying to be friends? Yet again, not me. We went and got lunch at Subway, let me just say AWKWARD! We really are trying way too hard. we aren't natural as just friends. Maybe we should just never see each other again, that would definitely be easier than trying to be Ross' 'friend'. Ross pulled up to my front door, and we sat in silence for a few seconds before Ross decided to speak.

"Well, that was weird", he said. At least I didn't have to admit that out loud. I nodded in agreement. "We can't be just friends can we?", Ross admitted turning towards me. I refused to look in his direction. I just kept looking forward. I don't know why, but my head nodded without me wanting it to.

Ross grabbed my face forcing me to look at him. He pressed his lips hard against mine. I immediately melted against his touch. I know it was wrong, but something about it still felt right at the same time. Ross pulled me from the passenger seat onto his lap in the driver's seat. Our lips were still connected. He had one hand under my butt to make sure I didn't slip and the other hand moved from the back of my neck to the hem of my t-shirt. His fingers brushing against my stomach spread shivers up my spine. He moved his hand to the back of my bra, but I pushed him away.

"We can't do this in front of my house out in your car", I breathed out.

"Then let's go inside", he said unclipping his seat belt.

"My parents are home", I said stopping him from opening the car door.

"We can go where ever. I don't care. I just really need you", he said rubbing his hands up and down my thighs.

"I need you too", I whispered touching my forehead to his. He pushed me back to the passenger's seat and took off driving. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere we can be alone", he said speeding down the highway. Within a matter of minutes Ross pulled onto he familiar dirt road. He's taking me to the lake where we had our first date. Ross pulled up to the empty hill above the lake. You could see the whole lake form this spot, and it was beautiful and blue just like How I remember it. Ross crawled into the backseat and pulled my arm to come back there with him. He crashed his lips onto mine laying down with me on top straddling him. I really do need Ross.