Smut Please (boyxboy) #wattys2016

The (Slightly Un) Fortunate Adventures of Pigface O'Brosey (O'Brosey)

He was tired, groggy, sick of Christmas and in desperate need of caffeine by the time he got home from work. All he wants is a warm coffee, comfy pyjamas and cuddles with Tyler P and that's what he's determined to damn well get.

And, of course and because of Posey (as usual), it's exactly what he doesn't get because the moment he flung open the door to their apartment there was a devilish scream of "Don't let her get away!" and a furry ball of imminent death flying towards him.

It says how much he loves Tyler that he doesn't think twice before flinging himself to the ground like a bomb went off, scrambling across the ground and flailing to grab a handful of fluffy scruff before the animal can get to the open door. Holding the spitting, hissing, yowling Furry Terror out at arms length, he eased himself to his feet, frowning at the scratches on his arms. Now he's covered in dust, glitter and fur.

Tyler comes careening around the corner like a newborn colt a few second later. And there's nothing for it but "Dude, you look like you got dragged through a thorn bush backwards".

Tyler looks completely unapologetic, and apparently doesn't mind his new afro as he steps forwards to ease the Devil Cat from Dylan's grip. Either Tyler is completely oblivious to the way the cat sinks her claws into his biceps and unwillingly accepts the cuddle with a low and warning growl or he's just ignoring it. Dylan rather hopes it's the latter otherwise he's got some animal behaviour explaining to do.

The cat is quite big, chunky more like. Big boned. She's not fat, that much is clear and Dylan already has an image in his mind on what she might look like if you dunked her in the bathtub.

Then the situation dawns on him.

"Why did I just break my left leg for a cat?" he seethed, and Tyler instantly cast him the melty dark chocolate puppy dog eyes. Dylan knows this is where the sob story and the begging and guilt-tripping comes in and thus he held up a hand. "Actually, coffee first. Put that damned thing in a basket. I'd like to hold my cup with all ten fingers".

Unsurprisingly Tyler really does have a basket for the cat and ten minutes, some loud yowling and a few puppy yelps later Tyler joins him at the table and gratefully takes the second steaming mug o'joe from the counter, taking a sip. Dylan copies, and eyes him patiently over the rim of his mug. Tyler gets two sips in before it all comes spilling up in a tear-sodden, pleading tidal wave.

"So I was on my way home from work and the main road was blocked so I thought I'd take the turning, yeah? Logic, I thought. What would Dylan do? So I turn off and there I am heading along when there's this animal shelter, right? And it just jumps at me. Not literally, like. It's a building. All concreted down and stuff. But there was this sign outside with a picture of this cat -our cat. I mean maybe our cat- and it was saying like, 'Last Chance', right? So I pulled over to have a quick look and apparently nobodies wanted her for a long time-"

Dylan rolled his eyes. "Can't imagine why" he muttered, and glanced away at the 'Look' Tyler gave him.

"-Anyway, it was saying that if she didn't get adopted before Christmas Eve they were gonna have to put her down because she'd been there for like, a year and they needed the room for more animals. And I couldn't just let them put her down for no reason! I mean, I get they need room for others and I'm not saying that-" Tyler cut himself off when Dylan held up a hand, and set his mug down. The mug being put down meant Srs Busnis was about to happen.

Dylan was well used to Tyler's string of nonsense by now and his brain had translated as his best friend spoke, and he now realized that there was no way they could get rid of this cat. No way he could get rid of this cat. He might hate it already but he's not a heartless in-human being with no loving soul. No animals deserves to be put down for a reason as easily solved as that. Tyler must know it too because he looks like he's just waiting for the yes to be voiced before he goes nuts about it and Dylan prays that it wasn't just an elaborate story made up to trick him into adopting another random cat that turns out to be the crazy old lady's next door. (That was a wild week Dylan will never forget).