Just Let Me Go [A Nosh Fanfiction]

Chapter 6: Crazy? P.I

Disgust.

Repulsion.

It was written all over his face. How could I have been so stupid to think that was a good idea?! Jesus fucking Christ I'm a bloody idiot! But...

That brief moment. The tingling sensation on my lips. That's what I want. That's what I crave. Whatever I felt kissing Niall, that's what I want. I press my finger tips to my lips and I can't help but to smile. He wiped his mouth. My smile fades in a heartbeat.

He's never going to talk to me again; never going to look at me again. God, what if he tells the guys. What will I do then?

I finally manage to get off of the floor and head to one of the sinks. I take a quick glance at myself before splashing water on my face. I bite my lips, the feeling of his own still present. I can feel tears welling in my eyes and anger building up inside me. I feel so over whelmed that I find myself throwing a punch at the mirror, with all my might I manage to shatter it.

I let out a gut wrenching scream, not so much from the pain, but from the anger. My hand is covered in small fragments of glass. And blood. I run out of the bathroom as fast as my legs can take me. Why I did that, I don't know.

I run to the bus and pull out my phone, barely able to book a room to the nearest hotel, and call a taxi.

I should clean this up. What are you doing, man? I roll my eyes. I clean up the wound and go to the location I told the taxi I'd meet him at.

***
I'm probably going to get fired..
I ruined property, I left without notifying. I kissed Niall. Fuck.

I grab my phone from the beside table and turn it on as I had turned it off earlier. Opening it, I have numerous missed calls and texts. And they keep coming. I ignore them.

I can't help but recount what happened in the toilets. Niall.. He.. He doesn't like me. He doesn't want anything to do with me. I disgust him- clearly.

In what right mind did I think for one fucking second, that if I kissed him, everything would be alright? Mate, I told you. Remember? Oh, to hell with you, you stupid voice.

What am I going to do now? I'm so god damn impulsive. I can't just show up and act all nonchalant. That just doesn't fly in business. I wonder what they've done for drumming? Feeling exhausted I let my eyes close.

When I wake upI grab my phone, ignoring the notifications. I go on Twitter to find #Joshwhereareyou? Trending. I go to my time line and see that Liam has made a game of it. I suppose as to not worry anyone. Looking at the time I realise the show is long over.

I get another phone call. Liam. I feel hesitant to answer but I know I have to sooner or later.

Liam: Josh?!
Yeah? .. Hey.
Liam: Hey??! Really? Are you fucking kidding me? Where the fuck are you man?
A hotel.
Liam: Why?! You know what, send me the address. I need to talk so you.
You already are, Liam. Look I'm fine, I'll see you guys later.
Liam: Bullshit. Send me the fucking address Josh.
Okay, okay fine.

End call.

I send Liam the address. I don't want to but in all honesty I feel alone and scared. It took him a while to get here but he got here nonetheless. I go to open the door. To say he was pissed was an understatement.

"Liam, I'm sor-"

"Save it, give me your hand." I offer my injured hand. He inspects it, cursing under his breath. He pulls out a first aid kit from his back pack and begins to aid my wounds.

"How'd you know? Like you know, that I was .. Injured?" He looks up from my hand.

"Glass. Blood. A missing Josh. Doesn't take much to put it together." He says sternly. "Mate, why'd you disappear like that? Not only were we all angry, but more than anything we were worried sick."

I sigh. "I'm sorry... I just. I'm not right in my head right now Li. I'm not." He looks at me with concern.

"Like crazy?"

"No. I don't know. Maybe."
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[A/N]: About time, am I right? I have to keep writing. I'm losing it!