Written Poetry

Figuring it Out

I feel like I’m learning how to loosen these strings that hold me,
I don’t need to be the talk of the town
I just want a quiet kind of ocean in my chest,
one that doesn’t drown me in doubt

I pause while writing this
Not because I don’t feel,
but because I’m learning to understand what I feel

I don’t feel sure yet
But maybe I don’t have to rush certainty
Maybe I’m just… figuring it out

What am I carrying, really?
Even when you are just being yourself,
I sometimes feel the weight of daunting eyes,
of stories I think they are telling in silence

And I forget myself in those moments
I forget how to just be happy,
how to just be comfortable
But I don’t want to live there

I like your company…
and I do not need to push you away from it.
I don’t need to lose myself just to keep things safe

Maybe I do not have to place you somewhere else
just so I can breathe

Because when I stop listening too much to the noise,
I realize, maybe not everyone is watching
Maybe not everything is being judged

And maybe I can let things exist as they are
without carrying what hasnt even been said...

So I stay here,
still uncertain, still soft,
but a little less afraid than before.