sad ⌁ mgc au

nineteen.

december 17, 2014

dear diary,

everything has changed. i'm sad again.

everyone in school knows that michael and i ' did it. '

i asked him about it but he said he didnt say anything and kissed me. the kiss was emotionless, it was small and weird.

i trust michael, he's the only good thing i have left. my friends wont talk to me, i dont know what i did.

do they feel grossed out with me?

i'm crying, theres tear stains on this page, i hope these tears turn into smiles soon.

i was so used to being happy, but im so used to being sad also.

i know more about being sad than happy.

michael left not long ago.

we did it again. i hated it, i fucking hated it.

i felt small and my voice was gone, i couldnt tell him to stop.

he shouldve known though, tears were spilling out of my eyes.

i guess he cared more about his pleasure than my feelings.

its okay though, michael's my sunshine, he's the reason i haven't gave up.

but i feel like he's getting tired of me.

and its a terrible feeling, because i love him so so much, i never wanna do anything to hurt him.

" at the end of the day, all we have is who we are. "

-- lola.

( a/n dis double update wHAT #rare. )