Bloodlust (The Blood Series #1)

Chapter 16

  We go inside and I lead him up to our kitchen. I'm starving and could really use a cup of tea after everything that has happened today. I sit Nathan down in a chair and then start fixing up something to eat. We don't have much since mom doesn't cook but after her mystery guest came by that one day our fridge has started to fill up. At least Mom has found a man that can cook. Lord knows we could use someone around here who actually knows how to use our oven.

As expected, there is a delicious looking casserole on the top shelf.

"You hungry?" I ask without facing him. I don't hear an answer. Instead I hear a faint chuckle.

I turn back to him. Nathan is standing in front of a shelf where all of my school photos are lined up in a row. I bolt to him and try to get him to turn away from them but he just laughs and pulls me to his chest, my back to him so I have to look at those horrid pictures too. They are all horrible. I was a dorky kid, with my head buried in books and eyes filled with dreams and plans.

"Would you stop looking at them?" I whine and hide my head in his chest. It's all too easy to be around him. At moments like this I can't remember why I used to get that bad feeling about him.

"You were adorable", he says and kisses the top of my head. It surprises me but I'm not complaining. After the day I've had, I kind of crave human touch. Someone to tell me that it's going to be okay.

"Especially those bangs... and that Lizzie McGuire look was so you."

I swat his arm and wrestle myself off of his grip. "Shut up", I groan and go make tea. "It's not fair. I bet all of your school pictures look good."

Nathan has a bone structure that would make angels weep in envy so I doubt there are any bad photos of him. I'm not even sure it's possible to take a bad picture of him. Besides, I've known him, well known of him all my life and I can confirm that he has always been as gorgeous as he is today. He has never had that awkward phase normal people have to go through. He simply popped into the world as beautiful and stayed like that.

Nathan shrugs. "Wouldn't know. My parents aren't exactly sentimental. They rarely keep photographs." Nathan's tone is casual but there's more to it, I can sense it. Every time we brush the subject of his family he shuts down. I know I've made it clear what I think of them but they still intrigue me. I can't help it, I love mysteries. Even when they are psychotic manipulative criminals.

"So there's no pictures of you as a kid? I'm thinking that you just burned them yourself to avoid these kind of awkward moments when some evil person sneaks up to look at them", I tease him.

"People don't really sneak into my house", Nathan reminds me absentmindedly. Right. Evil crime family's head quarters. I can understand why they wouldn't have any troubles keeping burglars away.

"Yeah, I'm guessing they don't", I admit. The tea pot whistles and I busy myself with making tea. I offer it to Nathan too but he kindly refuses. It doesn't surprise me, though. He doesn't really seem like the tea drinking kind of guy. I sit down and Nathan mirrors me. We start to eat the casserole in silence and I'm not surprised to find that it's delicious.

Mom keeps bringing all these foods home and when I ask where they are from, she makes up some lame excuse like 'my colleague made too much food for her daughter's graduation party and gave me this' or 'there's a new restaurant in town but I don't remember its name or address'. It is getting ridiculous. I wonder why she doesn't just come out and say it. I wouldn't judge her. I mean, my dad has clearly moved on and is expecting a baby with his girlfriend. I'm not waiting for my parents to get back together. Ever.

After we have eaten, I put the dishes in the washer and turn to look at Nathan to ask him if he wants to watch a movie or something when I hear a car pull up on our driveway. "Oh crap", I curse. "That's my mom."

On an impulse I take Nathan's hand and drag him upstairs with me. I shove him to my bedroom and then run back down to go sit on a couch like I've been there all along. I pick up a book and open it just in time when my mom walks in.

"Hey, kiddo", she says as she puts down her purse and leaves her keys in the key ring by the door.

"Hi, Mom", I reply and pretend to be completely mesmerized by the book in my hands although I can't even read the words I'm staring at. All I can think about is the brown-haired, tattooed boy in my room. Suddenly embarrassment floods over me. Did I even make my bed this morning? Probably not, I rarely do. And all of my outfit choices that I considered this morning are still piled on my armchair. Oh my God, why didn't I just push him out from the back door?

"Whose car is that? The one parked by the street in front of our house? Do you have a friend over?"

"No. How was work? Did you get anymore of free food?" I ask quickly, trying to distract her from Nathan's car. I don't like keeping secrets from her but as long as she keeps hers, I'm going to keep mine. Besides, I know what she'd say if she found out I had been hanging out with Nathan Blood. It's better if she doesn't know.

As expected Mom shuts down. "Um, yeah, that colleague I told you about still has too much food so..." Mom claims as she goes to the fridge and drops the newest gourmet meal in there.

"Isn't she nice to keep sending us food", I say and emphasize the word she. The person sending all this food to us is not a she unless my mom has gone through some very drastic lifestyle changes that I don't know about.

"Yes, my colleague is very kind", she answers and it doesn't slip by me how she never actually calls her colleague 'she' like I do. Like mother, like daughter. I'm sure she noticed that I didn't answer her question about the car either but in the fear of being dragged in the spotlight she doesn't say anything. I hate this. I hate what we've become. We've never been that close but ever since the divorce we have been getting along a lot better.

"I think I'll hit the hay", I say then, close the book and place it back on the table. On the cover it reads Finances 101: Economics for Dummies. If my mother wasn't avoiding confrontations due to her secret she's already afraid I have gotten wind of, she'd call me out on this. I may be a bookworm but I'm not big on finances and she knows it.

"Okay, honey. Goodnight. I love you", she says unexpectedly. She must be feeling a lot more guilty for lying to me than I have even realized because she's a lot like me, we don't like to fuss about emotions. 'I love you' is a rare thing to hear or say in this house. It's not that my mom and I love each other any less, we just believe in showing our love through actions. I briefly wonder if my inability to express affection rubbed off on Troy when we were together. His sister or parents don't have any problems professing their love to one another. Maybe it's my fault he never really says it anymore.

I nod awkwardly. "You too, Mom", I reply and escape to my room, still lost in my thoughts.

To my surprise, Nathan is still there. Unsurprisingly, he's snooping. He's standing in front of my wall that's plastered with photos of my friends and places I've gone to or want to go. When he hears the door open, he turns to smile at me. "These are cute."

"Do you think I'm dead inside?" I blurt out. I didn't mean to ask that but it really bothers me. Why can't I tell people I love them? Why is it so hard for me?

Nathan bursts out laughing so hard that I have to shush him. After he has gotten himself together again, he says: "Haley, I've met people who are dead inside. I can assure you that you are most certainly not dead inside. In fact, you have a bigger heart than anyone I know. Why do you ask?"

I shrug and fall on my back on my bed. "No reason."

After a little hesitation Nathan plops down next to me. Having him so close to me has my nerves on edge. At the same time I want to run away and stay. My stomach is full of butterflies and I'm having a hard time to breathe evenly. It's hard to understand the effect he has on me. No guy ever before has made me feel so nervous yet safe at the same time.

We've been lying there for awhile until Nathan breaks the silence: "Why didn't you tell me about Oliver? About all this?"

I shoot him a look. "You were kind of preoccupied elsewhere", I mutter and sit up.

"Not just this week. When I found you in the woods, you kept saying over and over that you wouldn't tell me. Why not? If he was tormenting you with those visions, why not just give in?"

I sigh rubbing my temples. That's going to be a difficult question to answer. I'm not even sure why I have been holding out so explaining it to someone else seems like an impossible task but I'll try.

"I wanted to give in, to let go. I'm no hero and I know it. Even still I tried to come up with ways to help those people but who would have I told? The police didn't seem like a viable option and you were gone. I felt trapped. In the woods, I don't know, I think I kind of snapped. He had been torturing me for a week and I was so drained that all I had left was anger, I had used up all other emotions. So when he told me what he wanted me to do, my first instinct was to not do it. You can only scare people for a limited time until they get numb to the pain and terror they have to face."

I hear him shift, propping to his elbows as he then sits up as well. "Crazy girl", he mutters as he gazes down on me. "Crazy but so brave."

Encouraged by the pride in his voice I let my fingertips to rise and lightly touch his cheek. He doesn't flinch away but he's clearly surprised by my actions. That makes two of us. I don't know what's going on with me lately. One minute I'm yelling at Nathan and the next I'm staring at his lips like a lunatic. What is with me? Or what's with him - why has he suddenly gotten so impossible to resist?

"What are you doing, Haley..." Nathan murmurs and closes his eyes when I get closer to him. I cast my eyes down and then look up again at him through my eyelashes. His eyes are open again and locked onto mine. Neither of us move, we just stare at each other. His eyes have never looked greener and I can only think of how much I want to kiss him.

My fingers find his. "If only I knew", I whisper and kiss him.