Bloodlust (The Blood Series #1)

Chapter 41

  The drive up to the Blood Manor is quiet at first. After Nathan explains that he has to go by the house to pick up some gear now that he's powerless both of us just shut down. Before Bianca's call we were about to get into a fight so now that it got interrupted neither of us knows how to approach the subject again. I don't want to fight any more than he does but I'm done living in the uncertainty like I've been doing for the past months. I need to face this head on, make sure that there are no more misunderstandings or hidden truths. All cards must be laid on the table, all truths be told.

"I've been circling around this for too long. Nathan, did you kill someone on that first weekend we were together?" I finally just blurt out.

Nathan takes a deep breath and answers then calmly: "Yes."

His lack of emotion surprises me. I was expecting there to be at least a little remorse or even fear for my reaction. But there's nothing. Nathan is just telling me how it is, nothing more, nothing less. "Um, a little more information, please", I ask when he keeps quiet.

He sighs. "You know that we met in a bar that Friday. The following night I found you wandering the streets of our territory downtown, bloody and frantic. I asked if you wanted me to take you home. You said no and then listed all the reasons why you couldn't go to your mom's and why you couldn't go to your dad's. You were talking so fast that if I wasn't a demon I would never have made out a word of it. Eventually I figured that since you didn't want to go home and I couldn't take you back to Manor because they'd flip out I took you to a hotel. Well, I was taking you to a hotel when out of nowhere appeared a man. He thought you were my girlfriend and figured that he could blackmail me by using you. He was wrong."

I let out the breath I have been holding. "What did you do?" I whisper although I already know the answer. It's just hard to believe.

Nathan looks at me with no apologies in his green eyes. "You know what I did", he speaks then.

My fingers feel numb when I squeeze my fists into tight balls. "You killed him. In front of me", I say with a voice that is barely a whisper. The words sound weird when I say them out loud. My boyfriend killed someone and I'm the witness.

"I had to. He tried to kill you. And he openly disrespected the family. He had to die", Nathan says with a certainty that chills me to the bone. He's so different from anyone I've ever met. I know he's not human, I've accepted that but it has never been so clear than it is now. Nathan is a demon. No matter how human he sometimes may seem that will never change.

To not start screaming like a maniac I ask the first thing that pops into my head: "Why would your parents have flipped out if you had taken me to the Manor? Is it forbidden?"

Nathan shakes his head. "No, it's not forbidden as you already know. But things were different that weekend. They had sent me to deal with an intruder in our territory. I messed up and made you a witness to a murder. In my world that doesn't earn you a ride home but a --

"Bullet to the head?"

He shoots me a look. "Most demons don't use human weapons, they think that they are beneath them but yes, I would have had to kill you to protect the family. And I didn't want to. I wanted to save you. So I took you to a hotel and tried to come up with a plan that wouldn't require killing you. Our family vampire who usually dealt with exposing situations like this one had just got killed the previous night, by Oliver I can only assume, so I had to resort to much dirtier ways."

"Meaning Troy."

Nathan nods and says: "I knew he was pretty new at it but if there's something those filthy bloodsuckers can do it's mind control. But first I had to wait for 24 hours for the vampire blood that bastard fed you to leave your system so I stayed with you all through Saturday. Even though all weekend long I tried to find another way I didn't find one. He was the only one I could count on, the only one who wouldn't tell anyone about you. So I tracked him down and made him a deal."

"He'd get to erase you from my head", I nodded, remembering what Troy had told me. "So that's why it was so crucial that I told no one that the compulsion had started to wear off."

Nathan stares ahead with a dark look in his usually shining green eyes. "If my family knew that you had seen me kill..." he starts to say but then closes his mouth as if to stop himself from saying anything more that could frighten me further.

I, on the other hand, have no filter and fill in: "I'd go right back to the top of your killing list."

"You know, I can't decide if you're handling this remarkably well or if you're in shock", Nathan says dubiously as he parks in front of the Manor.

"I'm not sure either", I admit. I've always known that Nathan is dangerous so I shouldn't be surprised about this newest revelation. And I'm not, not really. It's more like facing the truth in the harsh light of day. Having to come to terms with what I've known all along but refused to admit. Nathan is a criminal, he's a killer and I should run as fast as I can before his way of living will suck me right in too. But even after acknowledging all that I know that I won't run.

As we walk up to the Manor Nathan keeps looking at me worried like he's expecting me to go catatonic any minute now. Who knows, maybe I will.

Once we get in to the Manor both of Nathan's parents are there waiting for us in the living room, along with the twins. Bianca is nowhere to be seen and I wonder briefly if she was punished for this morning. I don't know what happened but deciding from the level of anxiety I got from Bianca's call to Nathan I'd say that Bianca is at least partially the reason why their brother got loose.

As soon as we walk in and Nathan starts to gather his things Mr Blood comes to talk to Nathan, trying to convince him to stay home even though we all know that it's a lost cause. Nathan is one of those people who'd never walk away from a battle. Even when it's against his own brother. "Nathan, I don't think you should look for Christian. Your powers have been stripped. If you are attacked you could lose. Let the others handle it", Mr Blood tries to persuade him but Nathan isn't having it.

I can see Nathan's jaw tighten as he hears the words 'let others handle it'. He hates being powerless and even more he hates people reminding him about it. "Father, please", he says then.

Mr Blood sighs. "Alright. But don't take the human with you. This is Blood business", he says and eyes me suspiciously. It's clear that he doesn't trust me.

"Sir, with all due respect she could help us. She is a Seer", Nathan says sounding more like a soldier talking to his superior and not a son speaking with his father.

"Who has just now found her Sight. I don't think she'll be of much use to us."

Nathan's voice is both pleading and demanding. "Father. Please."

Mr Blood's brows knit together upon hearing his son's words. "If she dies it's on you, Nathaniel. You'll handle it alone", he says sternly and Nathan nods. Then Mr Blood turns his dark eyes on me. "And you. My son has a very annoying habit of caring about outsiders too much. If he dies due to saving you I'll bring the fury of Hell down upon you and make you wish it had been you who died."

"And that everyone you've ever met had died instead of him", Nathan's mother adds. Okey-dokey then. Such lovely people, Nathan's parents.

Nathan glares at his parents looking more annoyed than worried. Is this what demon parents do to embarrass their kids? Threaten to kill their significant others? "Would you two lay off of her? Nothing is going to happen to me", he nearly growls. His earlier respectful tone has flown out of the window after he heard them threaten me.

"Of course not. We were just making sure of that", Colleen says with the sweetest voice you've ever heard but the look she casts in my way before exiting the room is downright deadly. Mr Blood follows his wife after mimicking her cruel look. Nathan glares after them but then follows as well, only stopping to kiss my temple.

"Just ignore them, that's what we do. They are a little..." Lukas stops to search for a right word. "Conservative. They hate change and you have turned Nathan upside down."

Under different circumstances I would have laughed my ass off at the thought of the Bloods being 'conservative' but I'm still recovering from the attack from before and don't feel like laughing at anything. Not even that. "They hate me", I mutter.

"They just don't get why Nathan is still hanging around you after he made sure that you wouldn't rat him out. In fact, they can't understand why any of us are still hanging out with a human like you", Klaus says bluntly. I know he doesn't mean to be as harsh as he is but this time his words strike a nerve. So was this the reason Nathan had stuck to me like glue in the beginning? I never could figure out why he wouldn't just let me go. Had his family told him to watch out for me so I wouldn't reveal their secret?

At the very moment Nathan returns to the living room. Now he's carrying a gym bag that without a doubt has all sorts of weird weapons in it. Usually I'd be fascinated to learn more about them but right now I just feel cold. "Let's hit the road, babe", he says and walks out as fast as we got there. I follow him, still feeling uneasy.

"Did you sleep with me to keep an eye on me?" I ask just as his hand reaches to open the car door for me. Upon hearing my words his hand drops down and he spins around to face me.

Nathan sounds shocked but he could be acting. "What?"

I stare him down, the coldness reaching my eyes as well. "You didn't want me to rat you out, right?" I repeat Klaus' words.

Nathan gives out a cold laugh. "Not to be a jerk but are you crazy? I would never sleep with a girl to ensure her silence. I can only guess what Klaus told you while I was hunting for weapons. But whatever he said doesn't matter. I slept with you because I already knew back then that I loved you."

I shake my head, unwilling to believe. "Maybe you should have just left me alone. After you figured out that I didn't remember."

"I could have. I probably should have. But I couldn't stay away from you. It's true that I was told to watch over you, make sure you didn't remember or that you wouldn't go around telling our secret. After I saw you that first day I knew you didn't remember anything. I could have stopped there, I should ​have stopped there. After all in my family's eyes you were just a girl who came to our territory without permission, not a very high priority. They didn't know about the rest like I did. But once I figured out that Troy had succeeded I still couldn't stop wondering about you. I found myself to be drawn to you, no matter what I did. So don't you ever again say you wish I had left you alone when I can't even think about not having you in my life."

"I can't either. You know, picture my life without you in it anymore", I admit. He pulls me in for a kiss and I let him calm my stormy thoughts. I realize now how crazy it was to even doubt him. This is Nathan we are talking about. He has done nothing but protect me yet I still find it difficult to trust him.

"I don't mean to be like this. Trust just isn't easy for me", I then say quietly.

Nathan nods. I can tell that he's a little hurt by my lack of faith in him. But I also know that if there is anyone in this world or in any of the others who understands the difficulty of trusting someone it's the boy raised in the middle of criminals.

"I know and it's okay", he whispers and hugs me tight. At this moment it suddenly makes perfect sense that I gave him my virginity. He's the one thing in this world that I can trust and I must have sensed it already that first weekend. Because some part of me loved him already, after spending only couple of days with him.

After we apart from each other I smirk at him. "You know, babe, this time I'll be the one protecting you."

He groans. "Let's just go before you get any ideas."

"Someone's manly pride is hurt", I tease as I follow him back to the car.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We search for him for hours. I make up some lame excuse to my mom that I'm studying with Andrea and to her shame she believes me. I know that if my mom happens to inquire my whereabouts by calling the hospital Andrea will make up stories with such creativity that it would make Anna Anderson blush. I'm so lucky to have her as my best friend. I text her in advance just in case and Drea lives up to her reputation since she promises to handle my mother if needed. I'm not sure if I'm still grounded because neither of my parents have evoked it but then again seeing as they are not used to having to monitor my every movement they often forget that I ever even was grounded.

As we drive around and look for clues leading us to Nathan's brother whose name no one still has mentioned I use my Sight to the brink of complete mental exhaustion but I'm not getting anything. All that keeps popping in my head is an image of an airplane but Nathan ensures me that there is no way his brother could get to a plane without any of the Bloods finding out about it. For the first time I'm being introduced the extent of the Blood intelligence contacts and I can't help but feel a little suffocated. They are everywhere.

Nathan is on the phone with someone. We have parked his car in a rest stop while Nathan talks and I walk. We've been driving so long that I can barely feel my legs anymore. "Call Kevin again. He's going to need to use his contacts in the Seekers", Nathan says just then.

"You need not do that, I'm right here."

Both Nathan and I nearly jump out of our skins upon hearing the deep voice. I whip around to see two people, a boy and a girl there were just two minutes ago was nothing. I recognize the boy immediately. This is the fourth Blood brother we've been looking for. He looks a lot like Nathan but just a little older. He also possess the Blood family's trademark dark hair and tattooed arms. His eyes are a shade of cold grey and when he meets Nathan's eyes no emotion is shown even though this is the first time in years he sees his little brother.

Nathan recovers first and says gruffly: "We've been looking for you."

Christian only raises his brows a little to express mild interest in his words. "I had to go get my wife", he replies and our eyes move to the beautiful girl standing next to her. She is as pale as ghost, her blonde hair and piercing blue-gray eyes completing the illusion of a modern day Snow Queen.

She scowls at the boy next to her. "Whether said wife wanted to come or not", she snaps sternly.

Wife? Sure, they look older than us but definitely not over 25. And considering the fact that Christian has been underground for years they must have gotten married awfully young. I can't help it, I stare at her and try to understand how they have come to this point. What has made her hate Christian so much?

"I'm here because Nicole reminded me that I may have started some kind of a frenzy by taking off without a notice. So in case you were wondering that's where I was and this is where I'm now", Christian explains perfectly calm despite his wife's hatred filled words. I'm now starting to understand what Nathan meant when he said that his brother doesn't really understand human emotions. Anyone else would at least shudder under the hard glare Nicole casts in his way but Christian seems completely unfazed.

"I think that was it. I'll see you", Christian says and suddenly he and Nicole disappear again leaving Nathan and I in a weird silence.

I'm the first to break it. "Aren't Nikki and Christian too young to be married?" I ask. It's none of my business but the two just peaked my interest.

Nathan shrugs. "It's not unusual for people in our line of work to get married young. I think my parents got married when they were only seventeen. You need to understand that what we do is very uncertain, every day could be our last and thus when we find something we love we don't hesitate like humans often do. We just go for it."

I nod. "That explains it", I say more to myself than to him but of course he catches it.

He turns to look at me. "Explains what?"

"Well, you." When Nathan still looks lost I start to explain: "You know, how you're always so sure. About... me and everything. It's like you have no doubts."

Nathan shakes his head and answers confidently as if to prove me right. "It's not about not having doubts. I just know you're the one I love and the only one I want. To me, it's as simple as that."