Thanks To You {Phan} (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Four ~ Confession

Words: 1392

Dan's P.O.V.

I was so happy that Phil finally trusted me. I was wondering what really happened to him.

"Alright.. so.. it began a few years ago. I was just thirteen years old and these guys that always beat me up, well, they were my friends. My parents never talked to me about sexualities and I never thought it was weird to be gay. That's why I told my old 'friends' that I had a crush on another boy in our class. They were disgusted and beat me up. I was totally shocked and didn't know what I'd done wrong. They told the boy that I loved everything to tease me. It's one of the guys I always sat in the breaks with. He and his friends came up to me and we all became friends. We met often, laughed together and I was happy again. I forgot about everything, but eventually, everything changed again. We didn't meet anymore and barely talked to each other. We sat together as always, but they ignored me. I was getting worse again and they began to blackmail me. My new 'friends' wanted me to do their homework and school projects and literally everything that has to do with school. I did everything they wanted because I was too afraid others would find out I'm gay and beat me up too.. and I do it now too. Since they were blackmailing me, my old 'friends' began to beat me up again. I had to sit in breaks with them and pretend that nothing happened, but inside I'm crashing. The worst of all is, my mother died a year ago. She was the only person I could trust and she always helped me. Now I'm alone in this big house with my father who's homophobic. Fortunately, he's working every day, I just have to see him in the evenings. The problem with that is.. he blames me for the death of my mother. Sometimes, he abuses me. Because of all my flaws and.. uhm.. yeah.. I don't really know how I survived all of this, but now you really know everything about me."

Whilst Phil was talking, he began to cry and I wiped away his tears. But then I cried too. It was so awful. Why did this happen to him? He didn't deserve any of this. Not at all.

"Phil.."

I'd listened to everything and couldn't speak anymore. Phil covered his face with his hands and I pulled him into a hug.

"I'm so sorry for everything that happened. It's so horrible and you don't deserve one bit of this, even though you may think this right now. I wish I would have moved here earlier and helped you, but now I am here and everything's gonna be okay. Don't worry."

I felt how he pulled me tighter and smiled slightly. I didn't care about his sexuality, but would it really be that bad if the whole school knew? Although..if everyone knew, more people would beat him up. That was not what I wanted.

"H-hey, it's alright, I'm used to it..", he mumbled. Phil began to shake and I let go of him. I laid my hands on Phil's and looked into his deep, blue eyes.

"Please, Phil. Let me help you. You don't have to manage this alone. I'll listen to you and protect you, if necessary. Friends are supposed to do that. We'll make you alright again, okay?"

He looked at me.

"I don't want to drag you down with me."

I shook my head.

"No, you won't. I'll drag you out of what you are in. We'll make it."

After I said that, he smiled for the first time. Like a real smile, not a fake-smile he pulled all the time. But a few moments after that, the smile disappeared again.

"I didn't tell you everything-everything.."

"What? It can't be more pain in your life! Don't tell me there's more awful stuff that happened? That's so unfair!"

"No, no, no. It isn't that bad.. well.. since my 'friends' blackmailed me.. I.. I hear a voice. Not my own. A voice that ousts my good thoughts and gives me bad ones.."

"W-what? Maybe that isn't worse than everything else, but it isn't nice too.. Can you give me an example?"

"Well.. today, I thought about telling you everything because you're my best friend, but this voice told me I shouldn't do it and you're just lying to me. But you know what? I think, as long as I do just the opposite of what this voice says.. everything will get better. Like right now."

He was blushing while saying that. I was his best friend?

"That's good, Phil. Don't listen to that voice. I'm not lying to you and I like being your friend. If the voice is denying that right now, don't believe it. Just proceed and it'll disappear."

I wanted to suggest him to go to a psychologist, but I didn't want to freak him out. I'd make him happy again. He didn't necessarily need a therapy or something. Then I remembered that my parents wanted to talk to me about something today. Ugh. Not today, he just told me everything!

"Phil? Is it okay if I'm going home earlier today? I know, it's a bad moment, but my parents wanted to talk to me or something and I always said we'd do it tomorrow and yesterday they yelled at me an-"

"No! It's alright! Just go! You don't need to argue with your parents because of me. I'm gonna make one afternoon without you, don't worry, Dan."

"Okay. Thanks, Phil. See you tomorrow!"

I went straight home and opened the front door. Usually, my parents had to work longer, but today they were home even before me.

"Daniel? Is that you?" my mum asked.

"No, mum, I'm a serial killer!"

"Ugh, just come into the kitchen!" my dad said. "We have to talk."

I sighed, went into our kitchen and sat down on a chair.

"Dan, we're worried. For the last two weeks, you weren't home for every afternoon and your grades aren't as good as they used to be. We got a call today, you weren't at school. What is going on right now?!" my mum shouted.

I was silent. How should I explain to my parents that I helped a boy who felt like crap in the last two weeks?

"Dan? You can tell us everything. Aren't you alright, don't you have friends at school, what is it?" my dad said now.

"Or is it a girl?"

"No.. I just made a really good friend recently and.. I'm helping him. And I wasn't at school because, well - actually, I was there, but in the second lesson, my friend felt bad and I brought him home, because his dad was at work."

"Oh. If it's like that. But, if you help him with this school-stuff, don't forget to study too, alright?"

"Why don't we invite this boy to dinner? What's his name?" my mum asked.

"His name is Phil. Not a bad idea, I'll ask him when he feels better."

"Phil's a nice name! Alright, you can go now. Dinner's gonna be ready in two hours, and please don't forget to study."

I nodded, stood up and went into my room. My parents were right, I had to study. Before that, I sent Phil a text.

Hey Phil,

Is everything alright? I hope so.

I wanted to ask if you're coming tomorrow to school?

Dan

I sent the text and sat down at my table. In a few seconds, Phil replied.

Hi Dan,

I don't know. Rather not. Don't worry, it was just a little.. fight.. with my dad. It's alright.

Phil

Oh no. It probably wasn't just a 'little' fight. I couldn't let Phil be alone right now. I had to stay with him. Fuck my grades, fuck school, Phil was more important than this bullshit! I ran outside without telling my parents and made my way to Phil's house.

As I arrived, I texted him again.

Phil,

open your door. Please.

Dan

 ~ I'd be happy to read some comments!

Do you like the fanfiction, what should I change, do you guys have wishes?

See you in the next chapter! ~