Broken Runaways

Chapter 2

 Early update!!!

Chapter 2  

Jessica

Jeffrey and I are very much the same. I don’t really know if he sees it, but we are. I bet we could be able to understand each other more than any of our family or closest friends.  Not one person knew every little thing about me. No one cared enough to know. Not even my best friend Maria knew about my daily struggles. The struggles against myself.

Jeff and I pulled apart, smiling at each other. I began walking down the driveway that lead to Maria’s house. Stepping over the threshold, Maria stared at me.

“What?’ I asked, uncomfortable with the silence and unnecessary stare down.

“Why were you talking to Jeff?” She asked, seemingly annoyed.

“Because I can...?” I questioned, trailing off.

“I don’t think you should hang out with people like him Jess. He’s messed up. Crazy.” Maria mentioned shaking her head and grabbing a grape Crush from the fridge in her kitchen.

I sat down at a stool in front of the breakfast bar, gaping at Maria who stood on the opposite side. Was she honestly saying that I couldn’t talk to Jeffrey?

“What are you trying to say? That I can’t talk to him? Because you think he’s crazy?” Maria just stood there, frequently taking small sips of her drink.

“I’m not saying that you can’t, I’m saying that you shouldn’t. He is crazy. I mean, who the hell would hack themselves up intentionally? A crazy.” I hated the way she said a crazy. As if it was some specific type of animal that he was part of.

“I think I should go. I’m not feeling too hot.” I said picking up my bag and walking out of Maria’s house.

At the moment, I felt repulsed by the human existence. Ashamed to be part of it. What part of depression supported the craziness of someone. I honestly don’t believe in a person being crazy. I believe that the normality of one person can cause the difference of another to seem abnormal. Crazy.

We always say how we hate how society is horrible, but we are society. Each living and breathing individual can, or at least attempt, to change whatever they don’t like about the world. But we don’t.

I myself don’t hate society. Because I am part of it. How is one to hate something it is part of and constitutes for? I don’t hate people either. I hate the thoughts and actions that other beings consist of, but I don’t hate the individual as a whole. Whenever I see or hear thoughts of others being expressed, I try to look at the topic from the perspective of the person saying it.

Other times when I know I am right, I will stand up, and make a big deal out of it. Like earlier today with Jeffrey. I knew for a fact that John was wrong, and I wasn’t going to listen to him say false things about such a serious matter.

Maria saying such horrible things about Jeffrey and depression made me ill. Normally I would have just shrugged it off and let it linger in my mind. That or I would blow out at her and insult in many different ways, but her stupidity and lack of knowledge on the subject at hand would just cause a fight that her stubbornness would not allow me to win.

I clenched and unclenched my fists. My anger wasn’t going to suffice at all. Just be a cause of my own stress and headache.

I kept my eyes glued to the brick sidewalk of my neighborhood, afraid I might explode on whoever looked at me funny next.  

“Jessica?” I heard as I walked past someone standing on the road. I payed no attention to whoever it was and kept on walking. I didn’t want to explode. I needed to calm my stress levels or I might get bad again. That’s what Dr. Simons said at least. He told me I had a form of anger induced depression. I was so stressed and angry at my home that it caused a severe form of depression.