the next step au's

real life (jiley)

// this is based on real life by the weeknd bc i feel like this song kinda fits to james rn and yas heres the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2S9RF2G0B8 ((also this is basically jiley but im just gonna write james pov so i just entitled it as james idk if thats confusing for some but ehhh ill change it if it is just let me know))

James only heard a loud thump when he threw his drumsticks into one corner of the music room.

He messed up his solo again, despite of trying for the fifth time ever since he came here.

There was no one with him, thank god. No one had seen him like this except his closest friends. Basically only Eldon and Riley knew about the issue he had. And they haven't even seen all of it yet.

His breathing was rapid. Almost uncontrollable.

"God damn it, James." He muttered under his breath, digging his teeth into the inside of his cheek, as he got up, almost making his drum set fall over by the intensity of how he got up from the little chair.

"Fucking shit." He hissed, pulling it back into place, before walking over to the corner of the room, where his sicks landed a few seconds ago.

It already got so bad that he even got mad at himself.

Normally, he would just end up letting out some snappy comments towards someone else, and then tell them that he's sorry, but now he let it out on himself.

It all started a few weeks back, when Riley started rather hanging out with this British girl, Ella, who transferred to the studio only for a certain amount of time.

James didn't want to keep Riley from making new friends, but this girl seemed weird to him since the beginning, and he just couldn't bring himself to warm up to her. There was something fishy about her. But he chose not to address that in front of the others. He didn't want to accuse someone of something, when he had no proof that there was even something worth to be accused for.

The worst thing about Ella was, though, that she changed Riley, in a bad way. She didn't take things serious anymore, and started to fool around, only a few weeks before Internationals, when they all needed to be totally focused on dancing.

Now, James had to admit, he wasn't focused on dancing one hundred percent either, because of the band, but he tried to use his time as efficient as he could. When he was dancing, that was the only thing on his mind. Not some dumb prank, not some joke, nothing but dance; other than Riley, who lately thought it was okay to miss out on dance practice, even with the group, only to spend some time with her new best friend.

James didn't want to make her feel bad about it, but he had the feeling that she ditched everyone else, even him, just to joke around with a girl she barely even knew.

He felt replaced.

Mainly because she chose rather to be around Ella, than to practice for their duet, which was one of the most important things for Internationals.

It was only a few days ago, that James told Riley about how he felt about this.

He had to admit, he was really harsh while telling her, and he knew how bad Riley was at handling this whole anger thing, but he couldn't stop himself.

Normally she was the one keeping him calm. She was his soft spot. He was never harsh, energetic or let out any of his anger on her. It was as if she kept him sane, somehow. And always managed to calm him down, whenever he felt himself going over the edge. Somehow, magically, she appeared each time he would start to lose his temper, and calm him down.

But ever since she stopped devoting any time to him, and making sure he was okay, all of that went downhill.

Yesterday he even acted out on Noah, which he normally would never do, but his anger got the best of him.

It all started years ago, when his father died during a carcrash, where he was intoxicated, after a night at the bar, and drove home in the morning, crashing into a tree.

He was his father, and James had mourned, he was actually sad, but on the other hand, James was relieved.

Ever since James has been a little boy, he always noticed how his father would act around his mother. He would yell at her because of the smallest things, even sometimes lose his temper completely and hit her, while James and his sisters were around. He would even abuse his kids, only verbally and mentally, but it hurt either way.

Apparently James always carried this temper inside of him, but ever since his dad died, it seemed to get more intense. Even to the point where he would sometimes remind himself of his father; his mother pointed that out quiet numerous times too.

James hated that side of him. He wished it would just poof away, but it was part of him. He couldn't just ignore it forever. Mainly because it kept showing a lot, lately.

All the stress of balancing his relationship, dance and the band, made him really easily to anger lately.

And now even Riley was basically gone. They haven't talked in days. She never returned his calls, or his texts, nor really spoke to him at dance.

She just turned her head, pretending she didn't see him, whenever he would enter the studio. And he pretended like it didn't just tear his insides into pieces that the girl he was in love with ignored him.

James had to pretend that it was nothing, just so Miss Kate wouldn't think something was wrong, and the duet was in danger, which it was, but he didn't want to stirr up drama again, as they have had enough of it before Nationals, already. He would figure something out, eventually.

James sat back down in front of his drum set, trying to go through his drum solo one more time.

Even if he knew it wouldn't really help him, if he would nail it, he felt like he would need to get it right just one time. Just for the sake of it.

He started.

And messed up, again.

"Fuck!" He called out, and the pressure of his hands on either ends of the sticks caused them to break.

His breaths were going rapid again.

When he noticed a figure in the door way.

It was familiar, too familiar.

She had her hands in front of her, fiddeling with the rings on her thumbs, most of them James had given her prior.

It seemed as if he was able to breathe again, James got up from the chair he was sitting in, almost knocking his drum set over again, as he ran over to Riley, who, like he could see in the split of a second, where he was standing in front of her, before he hugged her, had tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, baby." He mumbled, as he dug his face into the crotch of her neck, picking her up a little.

"It's okay, sh, it's all good." He heard her voice right next to his ear, and finally he calmed down again.