A Brief Future Of Time

Audio Log 9: The Avenger Approximation

" We are now recording, Sir."

" Audio Log 4209"

"May 3, 2150"

"Ahem. Okay. As you may have already guessed, I'm still stuck as an avian, but I might have found a possible cure.  With J.A.R.V.I.S' assistance, I am now building a molecular re-arrangement system. If it sounds familiar, it is because the same technology is used in Teleporters and Chrono-Transporters. But the problem with that is, you aren't actually transporting an individual, you are destroying him in one place and recreating him at another."

"Big deal, Doc."

" Although I am glad you see my point, I am also surprised that you do, Mike..."

"Cough Cough Sarcasm Cough Cough"

"I was not aware that the pathogens for Pertussis were laying dormant here, Annie, stay away from me, I might contract it from you."

" You won't, Sir, it was a satire. Much like Mike's comment."

" But tell me anyway, Seb, what's the big deal?"

"I don't know about you, Mike, but I wouldn't want to get chopped into a molecular level and then be put together again. The process, though flawless, is a bit...intimidating. Do you see the problem now?"

"That depends, will the new Seb be better in anyway?"

"No, he will be exactly the same."

"That IS a problem..."

" Allow me to get back on to the main topic of this Log. I shall try to separate the body of the Avian from mine."

"Didn't yah just say you were scared of you body being chopped to bits? Yet you are using the same method?"

" You think I hadn't considered that? You see, the combinator is monitored by J.A.R.V.I.S, thus ensuring that only the molecules possessing the avian DNA get separated, and my own are left untouched. Behold, as I go in as an Avian, and return as my previous self."

"So how long will this process take?"

"Anything between two hours to a day, so don't wait up! J.A.R.V.I.S. initiate process."

"So you are gonna leave the log unattended? Hey!! Answer me!!"

"Take over!!"

" Okay, Mike here! Seb just got into a huge machine which looks like a mix of a sarcophagus with a rotting mummy inside it and a home-use sauna machine..So I'm going to take over the narration till he gets out! Firstly, meet Annie, my fiance!! Say "Hi" Annie!! "

"Yeah, whatever, Hi."

"Aww! Don't be like that! Anyway, you up for some target practice?"

"Umm, Sir, if that's the case, It might be appropriate to tell you now that you targets for the practice will be arriving in about 5 minutes."

"WHAT??"

"I am sorry, I should have mentioned earlier, but most of my CPU capacity was allocated to the recombination process..But I already made an announcement in the troop dorms via their music system. They are armed and ready."

"Impressive, J.A.R.V.I.S! Well done, but notify us ahead of time too, okay?"

" Noted, Sir, but the attack isn't by the Chaste or The Mech-Men. It seems a band of survivors are trying to loot and pillage the base for rations."

" Then this shouldn't be very hard, let the troops handle them, Mike, I've had my fill being on the frontlines, that's why I came back, I want us to settle down now, and I'm sure the troops can handle a bunch of trigger-happy maniacs. What do you say?"

" Well, this is unexpected...I..You have to give me more time to think..but given the circumstances, I think this will be a good experience for the troops to battle on their own for once, without us bossing them around."

"I knew you wouldn't say no to me, now ...."

" Attention, Sir, the troops are requesting assistance."

"Of course, they are! Do you people allow any fancy-pants to join the troops?"

" Grant assistance first, question our military system later, honey, grab a gun, now! J.A.R.V.I.S, stop recording the log, and work only on Seb, we might require his assistance."

"Yes, sir."

"Alright, you morons, you think you can.....barge...in...YOU MONSTERS!! WHAT THE HELL!?!? NO! PHIL!!!" said Mike, shocked at the site that greeted him as he made his way to the focus of their attack."

A burly, authority-figure answered, addressing Mike's outburst: "I see, so this poor, little rookie was dear to you huh? too bad he didn't last a minute against us, now who was the one who killed him in such brutal fashion, was it you, Cobra, or was it you,  Acid? Wait, Oops, It was me..."

"THAT'S IT, I COULDN'T DEFEND HIM, BUT I SURE WILL AVENGE HIM, YOU CRAZY B*******!!"

"Yeah, bring it on, let's see how long you last." The diabolical barbarian taunted.

"My spirit, raging for revenge, with Ate by it's side, comes hot from hell, and in these confines, I shall cry 'Havoc' and let slip the dogs of war, this foul deed shall smell above the Earth, with you carrion men groaning for burial." 

Heads turned looking for the source of the voice, but where they could trace it back to was a silhouette behind a layer of thick smoke, and fog, giving the impression of an avenger actually rising from hell, about to fulfill the prophecy! 

"You barged in to the base, strike one, You hurt so many of our men, strike two..."

"Strike?" He said, snickering.

"Yeah, it's a sports metaphor, and as I was saying, There's one more person you managed to piss off." Sebastian said, walking through the smoke, "and his name's Phil." firing a plasma bolt at the intruder. "One down, eighteen to go. I like these odds."

"Seb! The machine worked!" Annie said, recovering from the quick turn of events.

"Of course it did! I built it! Now, let's kick some barbarian behind, J.A.R.V.I.S, cut this Log into two parts, and send the beginning. Start recording phase II"