The Run and GØ [JOSHLER]

[2]

When the first strokes of sunlight came through the window, I was fast asleep for the first time. Until I felt a sudden lack of warmth beside me and Josh got out of the bed- wait.

I opened my eyes wide and pulled the sheets up to my shoulders. "What the fuck?!" I screamed. I seemed to startle Josh, as he jumped at my outburst. "Oh, hey. You're awake." He said, smiling friendly. "Why the fuck were you in - Why the fuck am I in your bed?" I shouted. "Tyler, stop shouting, you fucking asked me to stay." Josh answered, taking his shirt off and throwing it to the other side of the room. I quickly looked away. How did I not remember him asking to stay?

A wave of shock went through my whole body as I thought, 'Do I still have my clothes on?' I know, it might be a really weird thing to think but I couldn't remember a single thing from the night before. Why though? I braced myself by closing my eyes for a single second and looked down - thank god.

"Did you drug me?" I asked Josh, who laughed. "I don't know, did I?" "I'm serious, Josh. Did you drug me, or... get me drunk?" I asked. "No, I didn't. How come you've lost your memory?" He asked, taking on a 'Panic! At The Disco' shirt. He sat down in front of me and grabbed hold of the sheet that I was clutching to my chest. "I don't - " I was cut off mid-scentence by a yawn.

"Tyler, c'mon, I'll get you up to my room, get you into something warm." Josh said, literally almost carrying me because I was about to fall asleep.

"But run where, Blurry?"

Josh pressed his lips to the side of my head. "Sleep well, Ty." He whispered, and I felt him smile.

"Oh goddamn.." I whispered. "It took it's time, but I have my memory back." I said. Josh smiled, "Good, good." "You saw me shirtless." I stated. "You saw me shirtless too." Josh answered. I sighed, biting my lip. "You said you know what I was going through." I said. "You know about..." I trailed off. Josh exhaled, shifting so he was right in front of me and taking hold of my hand. "I used to... y'know." He whispered. "Oh my God, Josh.." I mumbled and buried my face in his shoulder.

"But I'm okay now. I haven't done it in like.. four months." He said, trailing his fingers through my hair. I sighed shakily. "Two weeks." I admitted. "That's still an achievement, Ty." He said, wrapping his arms firmly around my waist and pulling me closer. "Jooshh..." I whined, on the verge of tears. "Shh, shh, Ty. Hey, how about we change the subject?" Josh asked. "You don't think I'm a freak?" I ignored his question. "I'd be a hypocrite if I did." He answered, chuckling a little. "There's so much more going on inside my head. It's not normal." I said. "Sometimes to stay alive, you've gotta kill your mind." He answered.

"That was deep, Josh." I chuckled a little. I sat back up, but Josh pulled me back in his arms. "Wow, okay - hi?" I let out in surprise. He laughed quietly, it was pretty cute. "You should tell me if you're ready. And if you never will be, then that's fine. You're not a freak to me." He said. "And you never will be."

"Don't say things you'll regret, Josh." I said and crawled out of his grip, getting off the bed. I walked over to the window and opened it. It was bright sunny out there and I placed my arms on the windowsill, looking out of the window. "Hey, Ty, I'm not lying." I heard Josh say from behind me. He also stood up and - again,- wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his face in my shoulder. "That's what they all say, before they make me want to jump from a bridge- " "Tyler!" Josh sneered, shooting his head back up. "I'm just saying." I said, making no movement at all."

Josh's voice was three times as silent when he asked, "Did you really try that?" I shook my head before letting it hang. "Couldn't be bothered." I mumbled. He gripped me tighter and sighed in relief, "Good."