Loving Lilac (EDITING)

Chapter 7

No. He never crossed that line. He would never say that to me. But yet here Nicholas, telling me to go kill myself. He's always called me worthless. I'm used to that.

I stood there in shock, watching as he walked out of the room, over Logan's unconscious body. That's when I broke. After years of bullying from him and his "crew", I finally broke. Tears leaked out of my eyes and I sobbed.  I sat down and as tears drenched my face, I felt truly useless. Like I would never be worth something again.

Maybe they'll start caring when I'm gone. 

I got up and ran out of the class room and from that demented school. 

I needed the adrenaline pumping through my veins to do something. 

I effortlessly found the spot at the park that I always hung out in. It was a true beauty in this ugly world. There was a small wooden swing that hung off a large tree branch over a creek. To the side of that was a a park bench that took me forever to drag here. The sun set perfectly over this part of the woods. About a half mile away was a valley full of flowers but was blocked off a while ago due to the fact that it dropped off into a steep cliff.

I thought about a lot of things while sitting on the swing. I thought about Ian and how I missed him so much. I thought about Nicholas and why he treated me the way he did. I thought about my parents and if the worry about me.

After what seemed like forever, the sun started to set. 

My face instantly brightened as I sprinted to the cliff, jumping over the caution tape.

My feet dangled off the cliff and I saw the sun changing colors from orange to red to purple. Soon, the sky was dark.

My eyelids started drooping and before I knew it, I was fast asleep.
***
I woke up with sweat covering my back. The dream replayed again and again in my head. It was like the words were tattooed in my head. I couldn't get them out. What was wrong with me?
Everything, my demons whispered.

You are worthless.

Go die.

I curled up into a fetal position, my hands pressed tightly over my ears. Maybe, hopefully, this would stop them from talking.

I let out a loud scream. I let out my anger, frustration, sadness, and hopelessness. I could still feel the tear tracks on my face.

Then, it started pouring. It was like heaven was feeling my pain.

I stood up and looked over the edge of the cliff. The bottom looked as comfortable as a fluffy pillow. I wonder what the world would be like if I just... fell.

I looked down, willing myself to gain the courage to jump. The rain was pelting my skin, the wind blowing my hair around. Tears splashed my cheeks, mixing in with the rain. I was a complete and utter mess.

"Don't Lilac! I realized that I'm wrong and that you don't have to kill yourself!" Nicholas shouted from behind me. I turned around and looked at him, my eyes empty.

I gave a ruthless laugh. "I was already gone, Nicholas. Nobody even realized it."

And with that I fell, mentally saying goodbye to the world that put me through so much pain.

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Hi! I'm so sorry that it took me this long to update. I've been extremely busy between basketball, school, and softball. I hope you like this chapter and please vote and comment any suggestions or feedback!

Have a good day!

XXX

-Morgan