A Million Trillion Billion (What's Eating Gilbert Grape Fanfic) *ORIGINAL*

Chapter 12 - Walking & Weeping

Over the next week, most of my time is spent in my bedroom with Leon, Becky and Arnie, planning out the book.
It's not just about the grade anymore. It's loads of fun, and I get to do it with the people I love.
Plus it's going to be amazing, I've seen previews of Becky's art for it and I'm stoked to have them in it.
Arnie and Leon are listing all the plot points and drafting out the story.
Then there's me. I'm going to write it all. With my take on it.
It's going to be from my point of view. How I see and feel everything.
I've already started writing it in my head.

Monday afternoon rolls around all too quickly.
I'm in my last class, talking to Edlyn. "So you're living with the Grapes?" She asks. "That's pretty cool." She nods. I've been talking to her all afternoon. She shares my passion for writing. She's a cool girl.
"Okay, and that's it for today you whackos." The professor says. I laugh at this statement.
As I head out the door, a firm hand places itself on my shoulder. I spin around and am face to face with Jimmy. I roll my eyes. "Yes?" I say. "We need to start our project Parker. So I suggest we do it this afternoon. Come over to mine." He says bluntly, shoving a crumpled piece of paper into my hand. He walks away quickly, leaving me standing there in confusion.
I unfold the paper, and in green pen, is a scribbled address. I sigh. I guess I'm going to Jimmy's then.

I don't have any idea where I'm going, but I'm trying to make it look like I do. I adjust my backpack on my shoulders, kicking rocks with my boots.
I walk what seems like miles, but still within the lines of Endora. Eventually I recognise a street name, and sure enough it's the one written on the paper.
I follow the path, closely noting each house number until I find 43.
It's an old looking house. Nice though.
I walk up to the door and raise my hand up to knock but the door swings open. "Shhh." Jimmy holds his finger up to his lips. "My ma is sleeping, so be quiet." He whispers with a frown. I nod.
I follow him down a long hall, and he leads me through the kitchen and outside into the backyard.
He sits down on the bench, and I sit across from him. "So, I brought some notes." I say, digging into my bag. Jimmy nods, resting his chin in his palm.
I put the sheets of paper on the table and he quickly scans through them and then puts them back down. "So you're not going to contribute at all?" I say, raising an eyebrow, huffing. He shrugs.
"What is it?" I ask suddenly. "What did I do now?" I say, feeling frustrated with his lack of communication. I try to change the subject.
"So do you have any siblings?" I calmly ask. "No. It's just me and my ma." He says, biting the inside of his cheek. "Are your parents divorced?" I ask.. treading carefully. "Nah. My dad's in prison." He says, saying it like its nothing. My eyebrows shoot up. "I'm sorry Jimmy." I say, almost kindly. I'm finding it hard to sympathise with him. As I'm sure anyone in my situation would.
"It's alright. It's not like we're any better off with him here." He says, rolling his eyes. And a deep fretful look appears across his face. I frown.
"He abused me, since I could talk, to when I was 11, when I finally found the courage to tell my Ma." He says after a long silence. "They locked him up immediately. He's to do 20 years. He's lost rights to see me forever." Jimmy says solemnly. I find myself staring at him in shock and sorrow as he speaks. "I-I don't know what to say..." I mumble.
"No one ever does." He shrugs. "The annoying bit is that I miss him still. Everyday. I won't visit him though." Jimmy admits.
"Well, I miss my parents too. If it's any help." I say. "Where are they?" He asks.
"Back home. I haven't seen them since I was 16." I say, sighing.
"I ran away after my Uncle Dan died. He lived with us, he was quite the same as Arnie." I say, a little smile tugging at my lips. "Dan Parker?" Jimmy says, his eyes widening. "From Manhattan?" He says. "Yeah..." I say unsurely. "I-I... You need to leave." He gets up angrily. "What? Why?" I ask in astonishment. I frown too. "Just go." Jimmy shakes his head. "Oh what, so you judge me for my family but I don't judge you for any of your bullshit!" I say, standing up too. "JUST FUCK OFF OKAY?!" He yells at me.
"Jim?" A soft voice comes from inside. I look over to see a slim woman, with long blonde hair standing there. She's dressed in a robe, and she looks only 35. "Nice to meet you Ms. Sullivan. But I was just leaving." I give a quick nod, and then walk right past her. "Why didn't you tell me you had company?" I hear her say behind me. I wipe the tear away from my face as I storm out the front door. "She's not-" I hear Jimmy say in response as I slam the door shut behind me.
I walk as fast as I can. I cry and cry. I don't care who sees me, I don't care who judges me. I've had it with Jimmy. I'm not going to try anymore. He's a heartless arsehole and I don't need him coming anywhere near me or my family and friends.
I angrily kick a rock that's in my way. It rolls onto the road, and a car runs over it. Just like Jimmy ran my Uncle Dan over in my nightmare. "ARGH!" I say in anger, throwing my hands behind my head.
I walk all the way down the roads, and down the grassy hill and back home. I go round the back way and to the outside door of the basement.
I swing it open, and collapse onto the photo couch, which is now more comfy than ever. My legs are sore from walking, and my eyes are sore from weeping. My head is sore from everything.

I wake up, face down on something soft. I swivel to lay on my back and look up. Arnie is sitting there, staring down at me with his eyebrows raised and a curious look. I chuckle. "Hello." I say, peering around. My surroundings are the same, except I'm lying on a pillow on Arnie's lap. His arm is resting on my hip, and his other is on the arm of the chair. "You were snoring." He giggles. I roll my eyes. "Ugh, how long was I out for?" I ask. "An hour." He nods. "Man." I say, putting my hand to my head.
My headache is gone, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten.

Later that night, I'm in my room on the floor. Ankles deep in crumpled paper.
Becky gets the door open... Eventually and comes in and starts laughing. "Neuh..." I groan. "Going well?" She asks. "Extremely." I say, getting up in frustration. "I have no idea how to even start! I have 70,000 words to write!" I exclaim, kicking the paper ball in front of me. "Try to focus less on the amount of words, and more on the story. Come on you must have some idea." Becky says.
It's reassuring, in a way.
"Nope. I just can't think of how I'm going to write out my boring ass life. It's been as boring as a newspaper until I moved here!" I say, shaking my head. "Well then start here. Start with when you moved." Becky suggests. "Hmm." I say, thinking.
"I'm just not inspired. By anything." I say, shrugging. "Has something happened?" She says with concern. "I don't know." I say, not wanting to mention the Jimmy situation to anyone because it was that embarrassing.
"Where were you this afternoon? You didn't come straight home." Becky folds her arms. "I was out. With my partner for my assignment." I say, being as secretive as possible. I hate lying to my best friend. I hate it so much.
"Jimmy? You went to Jimmy's house?!" She exclaims, her jaw dropping open. Dammit. I forgot I told her and Leon who my partner was. "Uh...um...er..." I mumble, tripping on my words. "Why?" Becky shakes her head. "He invited me... He wanted to work on the project." I admit. "You should've brought him here instead! What were you thinking?" She almost yells at me. I know she's trying to be protective but honestly, I'm not having right now. "I was thinking that you're not my mother and you don't get to tell me where I can and can't go!" I shout back. "Oh so I'm the bad guy now huh?" She says, shaking her head. "Whatever Janie. Gimme some time to cool off." She says, and storms out the door.
I fall back onto the floor, and bury my head in my hands. I can't stop the tears from falling out. I'm worried about everything. I'm worried about keeping Arnie safe, and this book, and school, and Ellen, and Amy, and Becky, and Gilbert. I'm so furious with Jimmy. I can't believe how any human could act like that towards another.
I miss my Uncle Dan. On days like this he'd make it all go away. He'd sit with me on my bed until the very last tear was shed, and then we'd watch our favourite movies and just forget about the world for a while.
Uncle Dan was 25 when he was killed. My father was 37 and so was my mother. They were so young when they had me, and Dan was so much younger than dad.
I miss him so very much.
It's not fair!
It's not fair. It's not fair.
It's not fair.