"Oh my gosh! Jesse! It's you! I thought I'd never see you again! What happened?!"
I got no reply.
"Jesse? Are you ok?"
Still no reply. I stood there for a minute, waiting. Patiently waiting, for a reply, a shrug, something. But I got nothing.
"Jesse?"
Nope, nothing.
"Ok Jesse, I don't know what's up with you but I'm trying to talk to the only person in the world that loves me, and even he's pushing me away. I don't know what to do anymore. I need you Jesse. I've always needed you, I just didn't know you.
"I wanted someone like you in my life, all my life. But now that I have you, you want nothing to do with me? That just doesn't make any sense. I want to be with you. I want to know someone is still there for me. Because without you, I have nothing."
I stood there, astonished by the words that had just come out of my mouth. I didn't think I had a sensitive bone in my body. But I guess Jesse brings out the best in me. I know, I know, it's kinda cheesy, but it's true.
"Faith. . ." He said with a hoarse voice.
"Yes"
"Help me. . . I need to know."
"You need to know what?" He hesitated,
"Jesse?"
"I need to know, if I hurt someone, not on purpose, but if I did, would you be mad. Would you think less of me?" He asked, a little weary.
"Jesse, I would never want you to hurt anyone, but if it was an accident, no, I wouldn't blame you. I might be mad, but I wouldn't blame you. I wouldn't think less of you either."
He hesitated again. Then he stood up. He stared at me for a moment, his eyes weren't the blue I remembered. They were full of darkness. I didn't know if it was just this place that was getting to him, or if he was mad. But nevertheless, I was getting scared.
"Jesse? Are you OK?" I asked. No reply.
"Jesse?" I asked again. "Jesse? Jesse!?" He still didn't reply. I was practically screaming and he still acted like he didn't even hear me.
"I'm sorry, Faith. I'm so sorry. . . " He said with sadness in his voice.
"Jesse?"
He stood there, motionless. He stared again. I then saw him holding something in his hand.
"Jesse, what are you doing?" I asked, even more scared, he wasn't acting normal.
He held up the object in his hand. I could now see it was a knife.
"Jesse! What are you doing with that?!" I was terrified now.
What was he thinking? Was he going to kill himself? Was this place that bad? Did he want to be rid of me so bad he would take his own life? I didn't know what was going through his head at that moment, but I knew it wouldn't be good. So I stood up. I didn't want to show my fear. Then I heard him say something.
"I'm sorry. It's not my fault." He confeses.
It's hapening, now. He going to do it! Oh my gosh! He's going to do it! What am I going to do! I have to stop him! My thoughts were spinning around my head like a top! I was so scared, but I didn't show it.
"Jesse, whatever it is that you are about to do, I know you're better than that! Please Jesse! Don't do this! I need you! Please! Jesse! I need you!" I was crying now. I was rambling on about nothing. I just didn't know what else to do.
"Please Jesse." I say as I wipe my eyes. "I don't want to lose you again." I confessed.
I stared into his eyes once more, hoping that maybe it wouldn't be my last time looking into his eyes, even though they were not his own. I wanted these potentially final moments to last longer than time would allow. I needed him in my life. He's the only reason I'm still alive. He's the only reason I haven't gone insane yet.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to do this" He hesitates again.
"Jesse, you don't have to. You have a choice. You don't have to give into the temptation. You're better than to give in."
I tryed to pursuade him into giving up the knife and letting the thought of doing what I thought he might do, out of his head. I couldn't live with the thought of losing him again. If he killed himself, I would never love again. I would spend my days crying in my room until I passed out. Then, when I would regain consciousness again, I would continue to cry. My life would be living hell.
"Don't kill yourself Jesse." I said with fear in my voice. For the final time, he hesitated. Then I saw him lift his hand over his head and throw the knife towards me.
