Revival (Johanna's story with Luke Hemmings)

Chapter 70

70.
"Oh crap," I open my eyes and see that it's eight o'clock.  I did wake up earlier, and it feels like I just dozed for another ten minutes, but evidently about an hour and a half has gone by.  I don't know how I can adapt so easily between early morning shift starts and these sleep-ins, but somehow it seems to work for me.

I sit up and swing my legs over the edge of the bed, and Luke stirs and rolls over onto his back.  He lifts his head and squints trying to focus his obviously bleary eyes on the digital display.  He groans and drops his head to the pillow again after evidently having some success. 

"Hi" I offer, and he groans slightly again.  I smile - he really isn't a morning person.  "I'm gonna have a shower."

I'm just getting out of the shower when he opens the ensuite door naked.  He grabs the towel off the rail and passes it to me, with a "Hi," then steps around me and into the shower himself.

"Oh, you could have gone in the other one if you were waiting ...or just come in" I say, wrapping the towel around me.

His lips curl into a smirk, "That might have made us both even more late.  It's alright - I was just waking up slowly."  He pulls the door shut and turns the water on. 

I sit at the breakfast bar eating cereal, as Luke comes out dressed and grabs a bowl.  "Where is your course?" he asks.  "Is it at the hospital?"

"No - It's at the conference centre on Highford Ave" I answer, spooning up the last of the milk and then standing.

"Oh, that's not far from work - I can drop you off if you want ...then you won't have to worry about parking" he offers.

I put my bowl in the dishwasher.  "Actually that would be really handy - thanks.  What time are you finishing though? - I could wait around or try and grab a ride with someone else."

"It's fine.  I'll only do warrants until 2 - just send me a text when you're ready."  He sits to eat his cereal and I decide, now that I've got some extra time, to have a piece of toast as well.

I stand and lean on the bench waiting for it to pop up.  My eyes keep drifting to him as he shovels heaped spoonfuls of milky Weetbix into his mouth, and I must be smiling, though I'm not particularly aware of it.  He suddenly stops and grins back at me, "What?"

"I had a lot of fun last night" I confess, suddenly shy.

"Good" he responds quickly.  "Me too.  I'm never gonna think anything that feels that right could ever be wrong."  He looks away again, obviously not seeking any particular response. 

It is a simple way of looking at it - simple as in uncomplicated and easy to understand, not dumb or inexperienced.  "That sounds fair enough" I eventually return thoughtfully.

"Cool - are you nearly ready then?"

It's another still, cloudless day that is rapidly progressing toward uncomfortable, stifling heat.  The air conditioning in Luke's Fairlady doesn't work, and winding the windows down only seems to make the interior even hotter.

Luke wipes his forearm across his brow and complains, "Aah - the garage is gonna be like a freaking sauna again." 

"Yep" I respond sympathetically raising my eyebrows, and then gazing out the window dreamily as we round the bend in the road to head past Kat's house.  "The ICU's actually not a bad place to work on days like..." I trail off, "What the hell?"

There are three police cars parked in the street out front of Kat's house.  One is just heading away as Luke approaches and slows, and he pulls over into the spot it had occupied. 

"Shit, it'll be cause of that wanker Nick," Luke shakes his head and gives the steering wheel a frustrated whack.  He turns and looks at me expectantly.

I rub my hands over my face, with guilt and regret flooding in.  "Oh god - she was going to tell me something last week ...then she realised I had all the other stuff going on."  I feel like the worst friend - when have I not been distracted with my own crap in the last year and a half or so?

"What can we do?" Luke drags me from my thoughts, as he looks across at her house unsurely.

I sigh and follow his gaze.  My Dad might have been a cop for thirty-eight years but I never picked up that much about police procedures in this sort of situation, and definitely not from this perspective.  I suddenly spot Dad's ex-partner John walking down the driveway with another young officer, after shutting Kat's front door.  I jump out of the car and approach him.

"John - what's going on?  Where's Kat?" I demand. 

He looks at me very reservedly, and then across at Luke who's followed me out of the car.  "She's down at the station.  We've arrested her boyfriend.  We've just been getting some other evidence together and we're about to clear out.  You guys need to keep going - there's nothing you can do right now."  John pauses as we both continue to stare at him for more.  He looks across at the other officer briefly then adds, "She'll be alright," before they head off to one of the patrol cars. 

They too drive away and I'm left standing there on the footpath shuffling from foot to foot restlessly, feeling completely useless.  "Fuck - I should have seen this coming.  Kat just shuts off sometimes, but I should have tried harder..."

"For god sake Jo, everything is not your fault.  Why is that always how you see it?" Luke says frustratedly.

I feel a bit wounded from his comment and the anger coming out in his voice.  "She's just really been there for me when I needed it..." I try to retaliate back, but just end up close to tears.  I turn away and sniff.

Luke sighs and then eventually reaches out and puts his hand gently on my shoulder.  "She is a grown up" he says softly.  "She'll call you if you can do anything.  We should go - come on" he takes my hand lightly and I give in and walk back to the car with him. 

We travel the rest of the way in silence.  I understand Kat and why she is the way she is - well, for the most part anyway.  She puts on this tough exterior with guys because she has been hurt too many times.  It actually makes things worse and they seem to think that they don't have to worry about her feelings.  From the times she did open up a bit about Nick, I think she really was looking for love - at the start anyway.  I just have no idea why she couldn't let go of it when the truth started to come out.  Now she could pay for it all with a conviction, her job, ...I don't know what else."

Luke stops the car and I suddenly look up and realise we are outside the conference centre.  "Are you okay?" he asks kindly, but then continues before I can respond, "I'm sorry about what I said.  I'm angry with myself too.  Shit, I was the one who said we had to watch out for her round Nick."

"It's okay.  She does have to be responsible for her own choices."  I look up and see a few of the younger nurses from work looking over at us and talking.  It is clearly a 'boy's car'... - I stop myself.  I don't actually give a shit what they think.  "Thanks," I lean over and give him a simple but affectionate kiss on the lips. 

He smiles, though it's a bit muted.  "Just call me won't you.  I can take you wherever if she rings or something."

I nod and hop out of the car to go join my colleagues.  I don't know how much I'm going to be able to concentrate, but again I welcome the distraction. 

Judy walks over and I feel myself stiffen in anticipation of what she might say.  "Is his Mum doing alright? - you two look worried."  Her voice is lowered and there is a sincerity in her eyes that changes me instantly. 

"Oh no - it's not that.  I think she's doing okay" I sigh.  "It just feels like it's one thing after another at the moment.  It's not his fault, and it's not my fault."  It kind of helps me a lot realising and saying that, and I almost feel bad for not wanting to go into any further details, but surprisingly Judy makes it easy...

"Yeah that's life ain't it" she responds with a shrug.  "You look good together though.  Come on, let's go in and get this done."