The next day I wake up just before noon to someone shaking me awake.
"Wh-what the hell?" I question. Cause in my mind it feels like seven in the morning. When I fully open my eyes I see that it's Alice.
"Let's go," she states simply, and I bolt upright, fast. Or really, as fast I can because it's hard to move seeing as I'm still recovering.
"So is it time?" I question, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
"Um, not quite. It's almost 11:30 now, but I thought that you'd appreciate an earlier wake up call," Alice says, but when she sees my confused expression, she continues, "You know... So you can get ready, because no offense, but the look you are sporting now isn't really working for you," she laughs.
"Oh, thanks," I state sarcastically, but really I'm thankful because I didn't even think about looking more presentable. And I really want him to like me.
So Alice and I spend the next half hour making me look A LOT better than I have looked the past four days. We didn't go too extreme because I just wasn't up to it, but her and I decided on some loose black shorts with small red flowers all over it, and a thin white sweatshirt with a tank top underneath. I was going to wear a black tank top but then I realized that my cuts were still showing; bright, red, and angry. I took the bandages off yesterday because they were bothering my arms and now they're more visible. I don't want him to think any less of me.
As I glance at the clock I see that it's almost noon, so Alice lightly combs through my hair with a brush, while I slip on a pair of black flip flops. Olsen comes running in just as her and I are about to leave, followed behind mom and dad.
"Where are you going all dolled up, Allison?" my mother questions, giving me a knowing smile.
I blush but quickly blurt out an answer, "Uh, Alice was just taking me out to see the garden. I haven't felt well enough to do that the last few days, so I figured that I'd go out and get some sun. You guys said so yourselves, I need to exercise. I figured it wouldn't hurt to get out for a little bit-" and suddenly I'm rambling on and on, but my brother cuts me off.
Thank god for him, because I don't know what I'd do, "OHH! Can I come?! Can I come?!" he shouts gleefully, jumping up and down. Olsen doesn't quite understand the reason I'm in the hospital. He sees every new place as a chance to make new friends and explore. He'll take any opportunity he can to go outside and play catch or soccer.
My parents look at me for approval, and I nod my head. I was hoping Olsen would ask because now it won't be so awkward.
As Alice, Olsen, and I are almost out the door, my mother stops me.
"You're father and I are going to go run some errands, but if Olsen gets to be too much, just call one of us," she says, sympathy in her eyes.
She thinks I'm too weak to take care of my own brother, so I smile and state, "I can handle him mom, I have for the past ten years."
There are butterflies fluttering around in my stomach as we get closer and closer to the doors leading outside. I silently shush them.
I've never felt anything like this before. I've felt butterflies, but nothing to this extent. When I first started at Lawrence High, I got butterflies, but they were the bad kind. They were the kind that felt like they were eating you inside out. Right now I've got fluttery butterflies. The kind that mean everything is going to be okay. The kind that you get when you are happy.
I'm happy. The realization hits me hard, almost knocking me off my feet. I can't be happy. If I get any happier then I won't be able to die. I can't do this to myself. If I get hurt one more time, I won't make it through. What if I let myself fall for this boy? What if I lose someone else? What if? What if? What if?
The what ifs swim around in my head, and I pause in the doorway. I don't stop for long, but it's long enough for Alice to pause and give me a sympathetic smile. It's just long enough for her to reach out her hand to mine and give it a small squeeze.
I take a deep breath and steady myself. Olsen, who was about 10 feet ahead of me, looks back and runs towards me. As Olsen reaches me, I spot the curly-headed boy about 20 feet away.
"Are you okay, Ali?" Olsen questions.
YOU ARE READING
Right Now a.i.
FanfictionAshton Irwin/ 5sos fan fic. Allison Steele is in the hospital after attempting suicide. She hates her life. When she was 12 she was adopted by a nice couple, but that's not the problem. Her mother died in a car accident at the hands of her drunk fat...
