Right Now a.i.

Chapter Four: As Long As Forever May Be

Hi. Quick author's note before I start. I'd just like to point out that you can thank my lovely best drama friends, @notrelevantatall and @anyacash have been pestering me to update. So here you go. :)
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It's Ashton...
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I fling open the heavy wooden door, but it doesn't seem so heavy any more. The adrenaline rushes through me as I stare at Ashton's tear streaked face. Before I can even register everything going on around me, Ashton rushes forward, wrapping his long gangly arms around my waist.

Because of our awkward height difference, when Ashton goes to press his head into my shoulder, he has to bend way down. But I cannot seem to allow myself to focus on anything but Ashton's body, the shakes seem to take over his entire being, as sobs tumble out of his trembling lips. And I can't help but feel incredibly sorry. Not because I did something but because others seemed to ruin him. As his body and heart seem to be covered in scars.

Instead of blurting out all the questions running through my mind, I simply wrap my arms around his body and hold on tightly. I try my best to shield him, protect him from all the bad in this world. The loud noises, and bright lights. I simply hold him, for that is all that I can do. That is all that Ashton needs from me.

And as him and I hold each other in the middle of a hospital hallway at 2 o'clock in the morning, I realize that I cannot just forget about Ashton. I can't bring myself to not love him. I must. This was fate, as stupid as that sounds. I know we're meant to be. The meeting, the hospital, everything was meant to happen. And as morbid, as selfish as it may sound, I am incredibly glad that I did not die and that we happened to meet. Both of our twisted fates bringing us closer.

And as we hug each other tightly, protecting one another from whatever may be, I realize that I can't not fall for him. We need each other. I need him. And no matter how hard I may try to keep myself away, there is just no way that I will ever be able to. And although we just met a mere couple days ago, I feel as though I've known him a lifetime. And it is incredibly rare that two people are ever able to make such a connection. For that, I am going to hold onto him, hold onto life, allow us to hold onto each other for however long forever may be.

As I'm so lost in thought, I don't notice that Ashton is now stretched to his full height, staring blankly at me. His tear soaked face, his sad hazel eyes, and his messy blonde hair are amongst the first things that jump out to me.

I take back what I said earlier, that he didn't look sad. I should be the one to know this most of all. Sadness, depression, is not something completely visible. The ones who have it, are the ones best at hiding. The ones who struggle but still act okay.

Ashton breathes in a shaky breath, "I'm so sorry," he trembles out, sobs taking over his body once again.

I gently place my hand on his upper arm in an attempt at calming him, "for what?" I ask, confused.

"For waking you up. Just because I'm sad. I just didn't know what to do. I really needed someone to talk to-" Ashton rambles, but I cut him off, putting his worries at ease.

"Don't ever be sorry for something that you cannot control. If you're sad, I am here for you. No matter the time, no matter the place, I am here. And although we met today, that doesn't mean that I won't still be here for you."

Ashton smiles, and let's out another shaky breath. We stand in the hallway for a moment. While I can here a plethora of noises, I can only seem to focus on Ashton as he draws in his breath. Each one less shaky than the one before it.

Once he calms down I ask, "do you want to go out to the garden and tell me what made you so upset?"

Ashton pauses for a moment, before nodding his head. As we walk past his room, I feel him tense beside me, stopping. Not long enough to notice but long enough to make me feel that something is wrong. So I reach for his hand, and softly tug him along.

When we reach the garden, I pull Ashton to the same bench we sat at earlier. And while it was only this afternoon, it feels like a century ago.

We both pause, taking in the fresh scent of the evening mist and staring at the bright stars. It seems as though we are the only two people in the world, no matter how cheesy that sounds.

"Okay, um, so promise you won't judge me?" Ashton questions, looking unsure of himself.

"Absolutely. I would never," I state. As I stare at him from the light of the hospital, I can see that he's uncomfortable. So I wrap my arms around his, and nod encouragingly at him.

And with that Ashton begins his story, "Okay. Um well, it's Harry. He was taken to the emergency care unit about ten minutes ago. I don't know what happened. One minute we were fine, just watching some stupid late night comedy show. And then the next," he gulps out, squeezing his eyes shut, "he was gasping for air. Trying to scream but nothing came out. I-i I didn't kn-know what to do, and so I yanked the call cord on the wall. And then a million nurses rushed in and kicked me out into the hallway. They were crowding around him, and I was afraid they would suffocate him. And then the next thing I know, the nurses are rushing him out on his little bed, down the hall and calling for help. A-an-and I just stood there, as they took my little brother from my grasp. And then a nurse came up and said that the cancer may have spread. And I just don't know what to do. What if I lose my brother, Allison?" Ashton questions, looking incredibly sad and angry, "What if I lose my brother?" He sobs out, "I can't lose him too."

I'm at a loss for words at Ashton's confession. I stumble over my words, looking for the right ones, but none seem to come. I mumble out apologies and give him the biggest hug I can, but nothing appears to help, "I'm so sorry," I say.

"It's okay. I just really needed to get that out. I don't know what I'd do without him."

A realization suddenly hits me, "what about your parents," I question softly.

Ashton winces noticeably, and I'm about to take back my question but he answers, "my father, he um left when I was ten."

I mumble out an apology, but he cuts me off, "it's for the best though cause he had an alcohol problem and he was abusive," Ashton shudders out, "My mother is always working. It used to bother me a lot cause she's never home, but now I understand why. And with all of Harry's treatments, we've got a lot of bills to pay."

I listen to his words, but I can't help but hear the emphases put on "we." But it makes sense, Ashton is probably the father figure to Harry. Because Harry doesn't really have anyone but him. And his mother probably relies on him.

I feel my heart burst at Ashton's story. We are so much more alike than I first thought. And before I can control myself, the tears rush out. I'm not much of a crier, but I'll be damned if Ashton didn't make me cry. In a twisted turn of events, Ashton starts comforting me, wrapping his arms around me, and rubbing my back. He shushes me, but we both end up crying. So we sit there, holding each other until our eyes dry.

"I'm sorry," I say, "we just have a lot in common. It almost seems like fate brought us together," I blush, "I wish I knew a way to help you, cause I really like you a lo-" the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. And the embarrassment causes my cheeks to blush a deep red. Thank God for the darkness.

Ashton pauses awkwardly, but before I can walk away, my shame and dignity with it, Ashton whispers, "It's okay, I like you too."

We both blush, and all of the sudden, I'm aware of the fact that our hands are still tightly intertwined. I look up at Ashton and see that we are inches away. And with that, our lips connect softly, the sounds of birds and distant traffic are the only things that seem to allow me to register that this is real life.

"You know," Ashton states, "you told me your story, and so I only saw that it was fair that I told you mine. Or at least some of it," he says, somewhat pulling us out of our blissful moment, "I've know we've only known each other a few days, but I feel as though I've known you forever," he says, pulling the words out of mouth.

I simply nod my head, the steady beat of Ashton's heart, drifting me to sleep. And the last thing I hear before I fall asleep is, "I hope this lasts for as long as forever may be."

And for once in my life I feel content, loved, and dare I say... happy.

I hope this lasts for as long as forever may be. :)