I woke up again today
why did I do such a thing?
there's nothing all that appealing
grasping tight as effort sends the room spinning
not lazy
not crazy
just... tired...
emotions blur and everything remains hazy
reaching but grabbing only empty space
screaming beneath the smile sewn to my face
weeping in frustration at my self-induced devastation
I feel like the monsters in my head have swallowed me whole
consumed me... you know?
It's all a little overwhelming
above even my level of comprehending
for I am not me
because me is no longer free
but instead imprisoned somewhere secret
somewhere guarded by hosts of demons
laughing at my hopeless struggle
not laughing with me, no.
they're laughing at me as I bloody my fingers
scratching at the walls
beat my hands senseless
against a wrought iron door
praying it might fall..
for I can see light just on the other side
but... I think my heart has used up all it's fight
I'm not weak
I'm strong
but right now
I'm tired....
