52 Weeks

Deep Thoughts

The next morning, Aleks could feel an awkwardness throughout the air. Jordan was deep in thought as he stroked his hands along Aleks' back. His mind had been everywhere but Aleks for a while the next day, hardly pestering the Russian like he usually did. Not that Aleks would ever admit it to Jordan, but he kind of missed it.

"Is everything okay?" Aleks asked as Jordan flipped through the channels on the television. Handing the remote to Aleks when he couldn't decide on something.

"Yeah, yeah why do you ask?" Jordan questioned.

Aleks shook his head, changing the channel to Cupcake Wars  before responding.

"You just seem a bit out of it, is all." He said, bringing himself closer to the warmth of his, his oh god what were they?

It was Jordan's turn to shake his head, pressing a kiss to the top of Aleks' head to dispel any worries the younger man might have about him. Aleks spent more time glancing out of the corner of his eye at Jordan than watching the show, noticing how he had returned to his deep in thought pout. Whatever was pressing against his mind was obviously big and included Aleks.

Otherwise he would tell me what's going on, Aleks thought. He pressed a kiss to the side of Jordan's neck, right above the mark on his collarbone. The older man didn't move, didn't acknowledge the gesture at all. If anything Aleks was more disappointed with this freedom than excited. It was like he could run down the street saying 'Help I was kidnapped' and Jordan wouldn't even come out of his trance to stop him.

Aleks decided to take action. He shuffled around on the bed until he was kneeling in front of Jordan and turned off the television. He was in between Jordan's legs with folded arms.

"What aren't you telling me?" Aleks questioned.

Jordan was pulled out of his trance and raised his eyebrows in surprise. He ran his hand through his hair as he responded.

"Nothing, it's just work-"

"That's bullshit, Jordan. I've never seen you like this and you have gotten super stressed out about work before. Never have you reacted like this. It's like you're contemplating life, you haven't even moved from that spot." Aleks cut him off, glancing to the floor when he remembered how much Jordan hated being cut off.

He seemed to ignore it this time, rubbing his hands along his pajama pants and letting out a deep sigh.

"I suppose you won't take the it's not your business?" He questioned.

Aleks shook his head, inching closer to Jordan and grabbing his hand. He interlocked their fingers as he spoke his next words.

"Whatever it is you can tell me. I just want us to be open and honest right now." He said so softly, pressing a kiss to Jordan's hand.

Jordan took a deep breath and looked deep into Aleks' eyes. Granted not the best idea on his part, he could never say no to Aleks when he looked into his eyes. They were one of the best parts of him, Jordan concurred. He took in another deep breath, speaking slowly and carefully.

"What Dan was so worried about was that James wants to return to the staff. He wrote a letter saying he wants to apologize to both of us, you and me, in person and he wants his job back."

Aleks tensed up at the words, letting go of Jordan's hand as he sat back against his heels, his head dizzy. James wanted to see him in person and wanted to work for Jordan again. After everything he'd done? Could Aleks forgive him? Was Jordan going to forgive him? Jordan reached forward to pull Aleks towards him, only for the smaller man to flinch away.

"Why? Why does he all of sudden want forgiveness?" Aleks questioned.

Jordan opened his mouth to respond and then shut it again, not knowing the correct answer.

"I don't know, but if you don't want to see him I can end the whole thing now. I want you to be comfortable, you're my main priority Aleksandr." He said, reaching forward again.

This time Aleks accepted the embrace, laying on Jordan's chest so his ear was pressed up against Jordan's heart. The room went silent again, both boys deep in thought. Aleks tangled his fingers in Jordan's shirt as he thought, only to smooth out the ruffles and begin the same process again. Jordan returned to lazily stroking Aleks' back.

Aleks decided against asking Jordan what they were and Jordan decided against asking Aleks if he was going to stay. Instead they sat in the sweet sweet silence, and thought. Thought about James, each other, what had led to this point.

Aleks only had one question, would he change any of it? Would he avoid getting kidnapped that day? Would he run away with Eddie if given the chance again? He looked up at Jordan's face, pressing a kiss to the stubble on his chin.

No, he wouldn't.