SUPER BADASS WIZARD STORY OR SOMETHING

Chapter 2: "I want the burger, but I'm on a diet."

CHAPTER 2

Johnny Cage was a sad man. Mortal Kombat with his daughter didn't end out so well. His daughter absolutely demolished him and he limped home. He lay in bed with his cash "Life sucks...". You see Mr.Cage came to life when there was a creepy fanfiction of Johnny Depp and Nicholas Cage...and out of that he came along...poor Johnny. "My days of movie making are over. I'm going bald and my daughter is better than me at almost everything I do." Sighed Mr.Cage. He was hated by the public because of a YouTube prank he pulled...people got angrier about it than the Sam Pepper incident...yeah. Johnny called his daughter and said "I'm leaving. I'll see you in a while." The daughter called out "You're a senior citizen dad! You can't go out trying to be cool like you used to!" "Well, I won't miss you then." and he hung up. Johnny Cage took his trusty cane with him. His trusty cane used to help him win the Mortal Kombat tournaments when he was a young lad. He left his Hollywood home and continued onward. As he was driving down the road in his 1928 Ford pickup truck he spotted a McDonalds. He hopped out of the truck and looked at the menu. "God damn, a Big Mac is so tempting right now." Since he was on a diet he picked a salad. But what he didn't know was it was less healthy than a Big Mac. The salad was very tasty and he went on his way. On the way to his adventuring place he saw a creature called: a weaboo. "Ugh. Can't we wait until we get to the adventuring place before an enemy?" *pokemon battle music*. A wild weaboo appeared! The wild weaboo used "U DONT SHIP MA ANIMERZ OTP DIE NOW STAB STAB STAB!". It was super effective. Johnny Cage went down to 134/301 HP! Johnny Cage used "HOLLYWOOD SPECIAL EFFECTS!". It was very effective. The wild weaboo fainted. Johnny Cage gained 498 xp. Gained a copy of "Sword Art Online Manga". "WTF IS DIS CRUD?!" Johnny sighed and wished that nobody would watch that...that thing. It shouldn't even be an anime! It's a disgrace to anime. So bland, no character development, I'm just using this story to rant about how bad SAO is. Anyway, Johnny Cage went on and threw the anime out the window of his car. After 50 hours of traveling through 10 states of America, he eventually made it to his adventuring spot. It was a hobbit hole. He went in the Hobbit hole and said, "Ah, screw this." and he saw a man on a hillside on the distance. He had a chihuahua with him. The chihuahua has two massive toes on its front feet. Johnny Cage went up the hill and said in his deep fake hollywood voice, "What are you and your chihuahua doing up here? And why are you in a suit?" The man merely replied "I am a wizard, don't question my motives." Johnny Cage looked at the man strange. "A wizard? I thought that was just make-believe. Or are you one of those roleplayers?" The wizard laughed a jolly 'ol laugh "Isn't your voice just make belief?" Johnny Cage looked at the man. "If you are a wizard, why are you wearing a suit?" The wizard replied, "Because I'm in a disguise." Cage said "Why are you in a disguise?" with a confused voice. "Well if you read anything on Wizards it's illegal for wizards to go on adventures. Gandalf got hanged after the Lord of The Rings." Cage sat down. "I'm going on an adventure too. Come. Let's go."