CHAPTER 1
Once upon a time, there was a wizard. The wizards name was Jerry. Jerry the Wizard felt like going on an adventure, so he decided to pack up his magical wand and leave home. But as all citizens of Narnia should know, being a wizard and going on adventures is illegal. But Jerry was a thug, sort of. So Jerry decided to fire himself from his wizard company, which its net worth was over 28 billion dollars a day. He was sad about this, but he then went on his adventure, and dressed in a fancy suit. Jerry was more than happy to wear this suit, as it came with a free Glock 21 pistol with two magazines. You don't want to know what kind of magazines...ANYWAY Jerry decided to take his Voodoo puppet of his ex girlfriend just in case. So Jerry stepped off and went to THE BIG SCARY MOUNTAIN. THE BIG SCARY MOUNTAIN was a poorly designed plastic mountain that was supposed to be a haunted house kind of thing, but we all know haunted houses aren't that scary. As Jerry walked through the forest a spider fell from a tree. Jerry got scared and ran ALL THE WAY HOME! The End. Just kidding. Jerry shanked that spider with his trusty sharpened spoon he got from prison. Back in his true thug life days... Jerry shouted "I HAVE BEASTED YOU WITH MY MIGHT YOU FOUL BEAST!" and continued onward. What Jerry didn't know is that spider was the "True High King of Skyrim", aka Alfric Stormcloak. He just started a war that would go on for a millenia. So yeah Jerry didn't make the best choice. A bodyguard of Alfric came out of the bushes and said "HEY! DID YOU KILL THAT SPIDER?!". Jerry replied "#thuglife" and skipped away with his hip hop music. The bodyguard chased Jerry around, going around the forest, then Jerry stopped and realized, "Wait... I'm a wizard! I can poof out of here!" But what Jerry once again didn't know by illegally using his Wizard Voodoo Magic Rituals, he would kill off Cthulu, his lord & saviour. When Jerry woke up in his new teleported to location, he wondered "Why was that man chasing after me? All I did was kill a spider." But a man hugging a tree replied: "BUT SPOODERS ARE THE ENVIRONMENTAL HELPERS!" Jerry looked to his left and saw a man hugging a tree tightly. The tree was being crushed from his strength and withers away. The tree hugger looked at what he had done to the thing he was trying to protect, and cried. Jerry comforted him by giving him his secret magazine. The man looked at Jerry in disgust. "WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?". Jerry replied "A priest." The tree hugger stared deeply at Jerry. "REALLY? HALF THE PEOPLE CUTTING THE FOREST DOWN ARE CHRISTIANS? WHY WOULD I BE ONE OF THEM?!" The tree hugger said with much anger. Jerry replied "Because the other half of christians are planting tree's." The tree hugger walked away and said "WHO NEEDS YOU? Thanks for the magazine though." Jerry decided that man was not suitable for friendship and unloaded his gun on him. The tree hugger decided that bullets hurt too much and died. "Stupid son of gun." Jerry said with a lack of expression. But he felt guilty about it. So he took the bullets out of the man and apologized. The tree hugger came back to life and slapped Jerry with the magazine and walked away reading it. The tree hugger never came out that stall in the distance. Jerry looked onward. He couldn't see the BIG SCARY MOUNTAIN anymore. He took out his trust basket with a chihuahua in it "We're not in Narnia anymore ToeToe."
YOU ARE READING
SUPER BADASS WIZARD STORY OR SOMETHING
AcakThis book was created by me and my friend while bored during recess. We went to the library and decided to make a story. We would type a sentence and then the other person was going to type a sentence or so. This ended up being the result. Hope you...
