Saving Kate

6. Medications

KATE'S POV

My mom was orphaned at three years old. My dad left home when he was 18 and never went back. Somehow I'm not surprised when the only person in the room besides me is Jake.

When he sees me move, he says, "They asked me how long it's been since I noticed you eating anything. I realized it's been like almost an entire week, Kate! I didn't even notice because I've been eating your picked over uneaten breakfasts and dinners. You have twelve stitches in your arm, too! You could've died! Don't you get that?"

"Where's Leanne?"

"She went home hours ago." Jake snaps back. He's angry, but at the same time he looks like he's going to cry. I've never seen Jake cry except when he was a kid. Not even when he broke his arm in a lacrosse game.

"Where's my phone?" I sit up slowly, and scrounge around the stuff on the table beside me and in the sheets.

"Here," Jake says, handing me my phone.

My hands are so cold I can barely open Leanne's contact. Jake is watching me with hawk eyes, and when I put the phone to my ear, he gets up leaves the room.

"Hello?" Leanne's voice is quiet it quivering.

"Leanne?" I know it's her, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Kate?" She knows it's me, too. She doesn't ask if it's me, she means to ask something worth so much more.

I don't say anything for a minute. How do I start this conversation? Hi Leanne, it's your best friend who's been lying about how she really feels about herself  for a long time and I couldn't tell you because I just can't.

"Kate?" Leanne half whispers, half sobs my name.

"I'm sorry," I try to say as sincere as I can, but my voice breaks and tears wet the thin sheets.

"I'm not mad." She says, her voice shaking.

I know she is, in one way or another. How could she not be?

"Max wasn't supposed to know before you. He wasn't supposed to know at all. But you-" I take a deep breath, "you deserved to know and I was too scared to tell the person I trust the most."

"You don't have to-"

"But you need to know."

"Have you called your mom yet?"

"No."

"Jake's there isn't he?"

"Yeah."

"Even though it might not seem like it, he really loves you."

"He loves me more than my mom."

"That's not true, your mom loves you so much!"

"But she loves her dealer more."

Leanne doesn't say anything and she doesn't have to.

"I'm really tired Lea. Can we talk later?"

"Yeah. Just promise me something," she says.

"What?"

"Take care of yourself. There are people who love you even if you don't."

"Ok."

And we hang up. 6:27 P.M. A nurse comes in with Jake. She's pretty. Her legs are pretty average, nothing special, and so are her arms. She looks as if she'd have a flat stomach, but I can't be sure. I'd guess she's in her mid to late twenties.

"Kate? My name is Eline, I will be your primary nurse. How are you feeling?"

"Tired," I say.

Eline nods, "We've got you hooked up to a saline solution and we've put you on olanzapine, which is just a medication that can help reduce feelings of anxiety related to issues such as weight and diet. Therapy and exercise start tomorrow afternoon and dinner is in a half hour. Meals will start out small, then as you get better, the meals will get bigger. As a part of the treatment, you will need to gain at least a pound per week. On the whiteboard here," she walks across the room and in front of my bed points to a number," it lists all your basic medical information and your weight which is currently 104 pounds. According to your doctor records, you've lost a solid 22 pounds in nine and a half weeks. After you've started to gain a little weight, the doctors intend to put you on another medication called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, which is a type of antidepressant medication that can help people with co-existing psychological problems such as depression and anxiety. I don't mean to make this sound so harsh, but we need to get you heathy again Kate."

I nod, slump back into the bed. Tears roll down my cheeks and my breath shudders. Jake comes over and grasps my hand. His hand is bigger than mine, and a lot warmer.

"Let me know if you need anything, I come in just about every hour to 45 minutes to check in. Otherwise you can give me a buzz on on my little radio here."

"Thank you," Jake says.

Eline nods, and turns to leave the room, her wavy blonde ponytail swaying behind her.

"You can go home if you want," I say to Jake, closing my eyes.

"I'm staying."

"Ok."

Just like Eline had said, the food cart came in a half hour later and gave my a bowl of soup and some saltine crackers.

Jake sat next to me on the bed and stayed until I'd finished the soup. Our neighbor Kayden Ricci came to pick him up and I threw up the soup shortly after that. One of the other nurses came in and helped me off the bathroom floor and get me back into bed. I went to bed with the taste of bile in my mouth for what seemed like the hundredth time.