Saving Kate

24. Pills

By the time I wake up, I can already hear Brandon shuffling around the house.

I climb out of bed and take a shower, brush my teeth, and get ready for school. I dread coming back to school. I can't help but worry what my friends are going to think, that I disappeared or that I've been avoiding them, but that's the truth. Billy Joel found the perfect words to describe how I feel.

Slow down, you crazy child
And take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile
It's all right, you can afford to lose a day or two

Vienna, by Billy Joel. I could listen to that song over and over again.

I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen where Brandon is stirring his coffee in front of his laptop.

"Hey, I made breakfast. It's on the stove," he says.

"Thanks," I say, lifting the lid on a pot on the stove. He made oatmeal.

I've never disliked oatmeal or liked it in particular, but I'm glad he made it.

Finishing up a small bowl of oatmeal, I make a half sandwich with left over ciabatta bread and put a thick slice or tomato on it and a slice of mozzarella cheese. I grab an apple for the way home and fill my water bottle stuffing it in my bag with the rest of my school things and swing my bag on my shoulders.

"Dad said you need to take this," Brandon says, setting down his coffee and shutting his laptop. He takes a bottle of pills out of his sweatshirt pocket and hands them to me.

"What is it?" I ask slowly, but I know what it is. I don't want to believe it. I know it's something they're trying to give me so I can get better and happy, but I don't know if I want to get better. It's almost like I've forgotten how it feels to be normal so I'm afraid. I don't want to be normal.

"It's Fluoxetine, it's going to help you with obsessive compulsiveness. It's mild but it'll help," Brandon explains.

I stare at him for a minute, then grab the pills and say, "I'm going to be late," an walk towards the door.

"Kate?" Brandon says sternly.

"What?" I retort, it comes out a little meaner than I intended.

"Turn your phone on, you can't live in the shadows forever," he says after a few seconds as if he changed his mind about what he was going to say.

I nod and walk out the door. Before I get in my car, I dig out my phone and turn it on for the first time in days but I don't wait to see if I've missed any messages.

I toss my things in the front passenger seat and drive. I get to school with 10 minutes until classes start.

I walk through the halls and head towards my first period class, which is all the way on the opposite side of the building. I'm normally not this late, people scurry through the halls to get to their classes.

The principal recently made a new rule because too many first period teachers were complaining that their students were late to class. Now, we have to be ready to start taking notes by the first bell which means I need at least three or four minutes to get my stuff ready at my desk.

"Hey," someone says from behind me, gently grabbing my arm.

I turn around and am face to face with Max. The only person I ever feel like talking to anymore.