Saving Kate

35. The Worst Part About Us

There's something about staying up late that brings back all the bad memories.

--last june

The best part about being home alone is the freedom to do whatever I want. I can watch whatever I want on TV without being judged by my brothers, I can listen to whatever music I want however loud I want, and I can sing my own songs. I've been trying to write my own song for months but I'm not home alone enough to actually get any work done.

When I write music, I can't have anything on my mind. That means I can't listen to music before hand, I can't have anything to eat or drink, I can't watch TV or I end up writing something about something that I want and not that I have.

I sit at my keyboard with my notebook and pen, just staring at the words I've written. They're all things Max has said to me. I wish I were as good with words as he is.

So, who better to call than the boy who knows all the words? I need to study for my last exam Tuesday anyways and we're taking the same test so it's perfect.

The phone rings , but Max picks up before it goes to voice mail.

"Hey, what's going on?" He says.

"Not much, I'm just having trouble focusing. Do you want come over to study for physics with me?" I ask.

"Sure, are you feeling ok?" He asks, "I haven't seen you in a few days and Leanne said you've been a little stressed."

"I'm alright, I've just had some headaches that's all," I say, "Do you want to come over in like 45 minutes?"

"That's fine, I'm not doing anything today."

"Ok, so I'll see you soon?"

"See you soon," he replies and hangs up.

I have the perfect amount of time to shower and clean up before Max comes over. Putting my phone on the counter, I turn the light on in the bathroom and start the shower.

I'm really tired and don't want to go back to school until September, but the sooner I get high school out of the way, the better off I'll be.

After I shower, I get dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt Colin picked out for my birthday from Charlotte Russe. He's the only one who would get me nice clothes besides Leanne.

I pull out my physics stuff and set it on my desk, then flop on my bed and sigh. My eyes are just about to close when the doorbell rings. God, I'm so tired, but I want to see Max. I just don't want to study.

I get up and answer the door. Max is looking at me funny, "Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine, why?" I ask.

"You just look a little pale, that's all," he says.

"I'm always pale, Max," I say as we walk to my room.

"But you're paler than normal today, and you look really tired," he points out.

"That's because I am, Jake had a sleepover last night and they were so loud," I say.

"Oh, well at least it'll be quiet now."

"Yeah," I say, sitting at my desk.

"Where do you want me to sit?" Max asks.

"If you want, you can pull up the keyboard stool and sit across from me," I suggest.

Max does what I said and pulls out a notebook and his textbook. His notes are so messy, but I read somewhere that the smarter someone is, the messier their handwriting is. I don't believe it's true though. Leanne is very smart and her writing is fairly neat.

We don't talk as much as I'd hoped we would, but Max always surprises me with his quietness.

I find it hard to think when I'm with him sometimes. All I can focus on is him and his quirky smile he gives me when he looks at me.

"Kate?" He says breaking my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to just sit for a minute?" He asks sounding concerned.

"What do you mean? I am sitting?" I ask.

"You just don't look like yourself today," he says, looking at me carefully.

"Max, really, I'm fine. I'm just tired," I say, "I'd tell you if I felt sick."

"Ok," he says not entirely convinced, but he looks back at his textbook and side notes anyways. I think Max has just begun to go with it because he knows I'm just like this.

Ugh I have a headache, now I have to tell Max, "Actually, I have a headache. I'm just going to go get some aspirin."

"Are you alright?" He asks again.

"Max, it's ok. I'm good," I insist, "I honestly don't feel bad. I don't feel like you need to call anyone or like anything is going to happen. Thank you for thinking about me though."

He nods and squeezes my hand from across the table before I get up.

I pop up out of my seat to run and grab the aspirin from my bathroom, but suddenly get lightheaded and I tighten my grip on Max's hand.

"Wait, Max," I try to say, but before I can even finish my sentence, I hit the ground.