Escape

Panties

 He starts leaning towards me, and I freeze. Is he going to kiss me?! Is this actually going to happen, or is he just being friendly?! Thoughts rush through my head at an incredible rate, until I hear him exclaim in concern, “Jazz! What the heck is that?!” I follow his gaze down to my thighs, where the blood from my previous cuts is seeping through my jeans.

“Shit!” I exclaim before I can stop myself, the word falling off my tongue. My hands automatically slam down to cover the deep red evidence currently staining my clothing. Excuses start to fly out of my mouth. “It was the cat! I ran into a desk! I was just really itchy and had to scratch, I swear! I didn't do this. It wasn't me! Please believe me!” My fight or flight mode kicks in as my breathing gets harder and the panic of being discovered sets in.

Jason leads me to a bench adorning the otherwise bleak and brightly lit hallway. “Jazz, I need you to breath slowly for me, okay sweetheart. Deep breaths, ready? Breathe in, breathe out. There we go.” My breathing slows, and the urge to jump out of my own skin fades slightly. I look up to see the one thing I never wanted to see in his eyes. This was worse than disappointment. It was pity. His 'I'm gonna fix this smile' appeared on his face. Great. I've activated his Mother Theresa Mode. “Okay, Jazz. One. We don't have a cat here, it couldn't have possibly done that. I need you to tell me what really happened and why you did it, but first we need to get those cuts cleaned up, so you don't get an infection of any sort, okay?” I nodded, knowing that giving in was the best thing for me right now. I push myself out of the chair, and head to the medical room with Jason trailing behind, thinking that he was going to call another girl in to look at the cuts, as they're located at the top of my thighs, a place that I would only dream of Jason actually seeing, not ever in real life! Especially not in these circumstances! Alas, it seems that Lady Luck was not with me today, the traitor. As we walk into the room, Jason hands me a gown, points to a flimsy curtain that seems like it will fall down at any second, and tells me to go change so he can examine the cuts.

Staring at him dumbfoundedly, I sputter. “Um...but...what...you...you're...a guy?” I manage to choke out. “I...I'm...a...girl...different...parts...”

He holds onto his poker face, pointing to the so-called changing room, whose curtains I'm sure were see through. “Go. Get. Changed.” As he sees me still hesitating, he adds a quiet “please,” as an after-thought.

I shudder in fear and embarrassment, trying to think of anything other than the situation I'm in right now. “Okay Jazz,” I whisper under my breath, “repeat after me. Unicorns. Rainbows. Kittens.” Yeah, I talk to myself? So what? It's not like that's the weirdest thing I've done. Most of the people residing in this hell hole do it too. So maybe you're the weird one if you don't do it. I strip of my jeans and rolled up, long sleeve shirt, quickly throwing the most unflattering hospital gown you've ever seen over my head. Which is saying something, let me tell you. I push open the curtain and hop up on the sanitary paper covered table, trying to avoid eye contact with the elephant in the room. Or should I just say Jason. Mayve I should start calling him elephant. Jason the elephant? Nah. I rub my hands over my eyes in frustration. Oh no. My nervousness is already making me hysterical. There's two things that make me go absolutely crazy. Yes, I know what you're thinking, Jazz, you're in a mental hospital for goodness sake, there's obviously more than TWO things that make you crazy. But bear with me. The first reason is no sleep. That makes me hysterical AND grumpy, which is just not something anybody wants to be around. Picture the Scrooge on ecstasy. The second is extreme nervousness, and I believe I just might of found that jackpot, sitting there in my breezy and ever so frighteningly flimsy hospital gown. Jason comes towards me with patience in the set of his shoulders, obviously seeing the nervous twitches which ran through my body. He smiled calmly, slowly reaching towards me as if to pull the gown up. As I hit the climax of my utter embarrassment, the worst thought yet sprints through my hyperactive brain. Which panties did I wear today?! Crap! The first time Jason will see me semi-naked and I might be wearing granny panties! As his hands get closer, I panic and jump off the table, running at record speed back onto the changing room, and throwing up the almost see through sack that I was wearing to check my underwear. I breathe out in relief, seeing my black lace panties I threw on so the blood stains wouldn't be noticeable. I rush back out, a sheepish look on my face as I survey his shocked features. I clear my throat. “Uhhh...I just had to check, you know, if umm I was still a girl?” Really Jazz?! I berate myself, that was the best you could come up with?! Okay, so maybe I'm not such a great liar in stressful and non rehearsed situations.