Losing Hope

9

The next few days Ayden sat next to me in math, which was annoying because there was always some girl with fake boobs and plastic face giggling and flirting right in front of me while I tried to work.  Whenever he wasn't surrounded he just gave me these puzzled, like he was trying to figure something out.

I was happy it was season. I was so much easier to forget about everything when I ran. And it was somewhere I really felt like I belonged. Something I was actually good at. I loved our meets. There were where I could forget everything and run away from my own records.

After practice I didn't go strait home. Instead I decided to stop by somewhere I hadn't been in a long while.

~~~

I found my favorite spot with Hope. An old train track and tiny bridge over a trickling creek. The ground around the tracks was down hill and covered in rock, not the smooth type, but the chalky kind that are more rectangular than round.
The best part about our spot was that it was tucked away, between two, almost mini forests.
Hope and I used to sit and throw rocks at the trees while we poured out our trouble, complaints, and boy problems. Not that I had many of those.

I sit and imagine her here next to me. Thinking of her reminds me of the sharp pain where the missing piece of my heart aches. With out her I am not me. She's the reason I was survived, through easy or hard parts of my life. Because I always new she was right beside me. I knew she had my back. That no matter what, she would be there for me.

I knew that nothing could ever break us apart.

And now I see how stupid I was. I could never imagine my life without her. I still can't imagine it, Because I'm not living, I'm just a shadow, holding on to the memories I'm terrified will slip away from me. Because if I lose them, I lose her. I lose Hope.

I look up at the sky, tears streaking down my cheeks. The sun is setting, in a furry of beautiful colors. I see the sun set all the time, but I still can't get over how amazing it is.
How the colors and wispy clouds hold so much emotion. Joy and sadness that makes your heart ache. Like God is bleeding the pain that I feel and turning it into something wonderful.

I startle as someone sits down next to me. At school and places, I can ignore people presence easily. No one exists in my world of sorrow. But here is different.

I feel him place his hand softly over mine. It's like lightning, a shock that forces me to turn my head.

Sitting there is Ayden. His deep green eyes look straight into mine, jolting my heart back to a living beat. I don't know what it was, but something had changed since I saw him.
He doesn't say anything, or look away, just holds my gaze until my eyes fall to our hands, then back to the setting sun.

He reaches out to brush the tears from my face, bringing my eyes to meet his again. My hand clenches under his, and he grabs it, pressing it against his chest. Moving close, one hand still on my face, the on my back, he asked.
"Why didn't you tell me about her?"

My heart beat uncontrollably and i didn't know how to answer. I just let the tears fall down my face again, and he pulls my head to his chest and holds me tight as a soak his jacket with tears.

"I got you Rochelle." He whispers

I miss Hope so much, but somehow I don't feel so alone any more. Aydens here for me. He doesn't promise me the lie that everyone else does, that it's going to get fine, that I'll get over it. He doesn't say any of that. He's just here for me. And maybe that's all I need right now.

No one else can mend a heart for me. But now there's someone to hold me while it's healing.

A/n- sorry the chapters are so short. I just feel like each part needs its own chapter you know?