Neverland

Chapter 18

The only one after all

Jessica's P.O.V

I put the letter down and started crying so hard. I don't think I've ever cried this much.

Except for that one time... But that's another story.

After about 45 minutes of crying I got the courage to read the letter she had wrote for me below it.
It read:

(PLEASE SEND TO JESSICA ALEXANDRA MARIE IF I COMITTED SUICIDE)

Dear Jessica,
Hey. I just wanted to say ilysm. U r literally my idol. Ur so pretty and ur so nice, and ur so perfect. I wish I could be like u. But I'm not. I'm just me. But if ur reading this I'm dead. Because the only time I'd actually let my mother find this was when I was gone.

Yes everything my mom probably said about me is true. She probably told u how I'm anorexic and how I like to cut to make my pain go away for that split second when I slash my wrists and hips and thighs and stomach but it really did help.

But u and Jake were the ones who actually kept me alive for as long as I stayed. You guys actually made me genuily smile. You guys made my day every single day. And that's what this letter is all about. I wanted to thank u for doing just that and making me and thousands of others smile. It means the world to me.

It saved me from my first try but this one will definitely work and ik that you might not get this letter but I really really hope my mom does send it to u.

I mean if she didn't I get it because I am a bitch an all but you have helped me through so much and I wanted to thank you for that. Ilysm and never stop making people smile. You may be the reason that one girl smiled while she was being bullied, or that one boy who was gay and got pushed around at school for it, or any other person that is still living. Thank u. Thank u so much. Don't stop what your doing. You're truly amazing. Ilysm.

Thank you

Love ur #1 fan,
Aria Castenaro

I put the letter down. I didn't know what I felt. I was so shocked and so sad and so I don't even know. I couldn't process anything. This girl was such an inspiration. I wish I could've met her. Wow.

I put the letter down and looked in the mirror. I knew exactly how she felt. I guess I wasn't the only one after all that's tried some things but I hope I never do again.

Well, at least not yet.