Attracted To Trouble - Nick Robinson

Chapter 25 - Need To Forget

I thought to myself "how do I know when it's over?" Maybe....  when I feel more in love with the memories than with the person standing in front of me. It's crazy to know when you're alone you find yourself questioning and answering... I sat down next to an old lake trying to clear my mind while these tears keep pouring down my rosey pink cheeks while the rain drops from the rain wash it off. 
I took a deep breathe, stared at the cloudy sky and just kept thinking...
I mean don't get me wrong I don't hate him, I'm just disappointed he turned being something he said he would never be. But for some reason in my dreams I always find my way back to him. It's this feeling I get that makes me want to scream out to the world, cry, beat up the one who broke my heart, then love him all over again. Ughhh Why me? He had girls all over him, and he settled in for me. I'm suddenly missing him and I shouldn't be. I wanna go back to him, but I don't want to let him have the satisfaction of knowing I'll always be crawling back to him.  They say one of the hardest decisions you make in life is wether to walk away, or try harder.....

I heard something in back of me and it was Nick. He sat down next to me. I cried even more.

Nick: "You left me, and didn't even say goodbye... when love is gone where does it go? - Here in this lake?"

"Goodbye" I said standing up and ready to leave.

Nick: "Layla wait, fear is like a prison, if you're just going to continue being scared of me you're going to feel unsafe all the time. Please let it go, you know I'm not that type of person..... Tell me, when you hear my name or think of me what comes to mind huh?"

I stayed quiet.. I had a lot in mind.

Nick: "All right, go ahead, rip out my heart and leave with it, without saying a word"

Nick: "You know there are two reasons why you won't talk to me, either what's on your mind doesn't mean anything to you, or it means everything to you.."

My aunt finally came to pick me up and I just left Nick hanging without talking again, and got in the car.. when the car was leaving and I took one last look of Nick standing in the rain..  He sat back down and starred back with his hoodie on. We made eye contact and all these feelings combined came to me. I can't be in love with a murder.. I-I'll be fine..