Just a Simple Beat

Chapter 30 - The Realization

Karinah's POV

"...There were once so strong hearts that are madly in love with each other. They thought they were connected. They thought they are forever. The problem is, they only thought..."

I closed the book I was reading, hoping that this book is like my life. Na pag pagod na ako, pwede kong itigil. Na pag hindi ko gusto, pwede kong baguhin. But life isn't about this book or any story. Kasi yung buhay ko, totoo.

Heto pa rin ako sa apat na sulok ng kwarto ng hospital. Kuya Erin told me na pauwi na sila Kuya Ken, pati sila Mom. Matatapos na din ang summer. Kung tatanungin nyo ako kung ilang araw na ako dito, it was actually 4 weeks already. Sabi ng doktok, it would take time for me to heal. Dapat daw hindi ako ma stress. Hindi ma depress. How could it be possible? Here I am again, waiting na sana ma discharge na.

*tok tok*

"Pasok." Ako

The door was opened at bumaling sakin ang worried face ni ate Cathy. It's been a month since nagkita kami.

"Hey. Kumusta?" She asked.

"Ito. Nag hihintay maka wala." I kid.

"Gaga. Di ka naman nakakulong." She said.

"Napa dalaw ka ate. Ngayon lang kita nakita after that day." I said.

She sat on my bed, next to me.

"Ayoko kasing makita kang ganyan. Alam mo namang parang kapatid na kita diba?"

Nag smile na lang ako. Ayoko naman kasing isipin ni ate na masama ang loob ko sa kanya.

"Kari." Tawag ni ate.

"hmm?"

"I'm sorry. Hindi alam ni Brenan. Hindi niya alam ang kondisyon mo. Hindi niya alam..."

"Ate, it's okay. Mabuti nang hindi niya alam. Ayoko din malaman niya. Ayoko ng kaawaan ate." Naiiyak nanaman ako. Bah yan! (>,<)

"Kari. Hindi ka naman naming kinakaawaan, you know that. Concern lang kami. Iba ang awa sa concern."

"Pls ate. Don't make me feel like a charity case. Hindi pa nga naming alam kung bumalik. And I don't even want to know."

"Sabi ni Erin lagi ka daw umiiyak. Sabi niya, last week nahimatay ka nanaman. Nagising ka lang almost after 2 weeks. Karinah, kaylangan natin malaman ang nangyayari sayo. Be strong. Pls Kari, lumaban ka."

I started crying. Hindi ko na mapigilian.

"How can I fight to something na hindi ko alam? Pano ako magiging strong if everything was not the way it used to be? Ate, I'm trying to be strong. For my family, for my friends, for you. Para sainyo. But the more I try to fight, the more na nararamdaman ko na ang hina hina ko na. Ate, I'm just 15" I said in between tears.

Ate hugged me. "Nandito kami. You don't have to carry all your burdens."

I hugged her back. Iyak lang ako ng iyak.

"Stop crying. Please. Baka mawalan ka nanaman ng malay."

Sumisikip nanaman ang dibdib ko. Nanghihina ako.

"A.....te. Ca....n't br...ea...th"

"Kari!" Natataranta si ate Cathy na tumawag ng Doktor. I saw them rushing through me, until... Everything went black.

Ken's POV

(NAIA Terminal 1)