Love At First Sight

Chapter 3

Around midday, Olivia called me into her office. My fellow detectives, except for Sonny, looked at me with curiosity. I casually brushed it off and went into her office.
I closed the door behind me into a room filled with silence. Olivia thoroughly looked me over before she said any thing. I guess she was watching my body language.
"You okay?" she asked sweetly.
"Yeah." I lied but I can't keep lying anymore.
"Actually...no. I can't get it off my mind. It's eating me alive, Olivia." my eyes welled with tears.
"Amanda, take the rest of the day off. You need it." she said staring me down with sympathy.
"Liv that's-" I began.
"No buts. It's an order. And I called Huang and created your appointment. It's at 5:30 here at the precinct. Don't show up here until then. Got it?" she was serious.
I better not piss her off. She's always done what's best for me. She knows what she's talking about and I never want to question her.
"Okay. Thank you, Serge." I said and turned to walk out the door.
My hand was on the handle ready to turn it but she stopped me.
"Hey, Rollins, one more thing." she said while walking around to the other side of her desk.
"Yeah?" I asked.
Olivia said nothing but came forward and wrapped her arms around me. My instinct was to immediately hug back. My body started to tremble. My anxiety was rising.
"It's okay, Amanda. It wasn't your fault. You shouldn't be ashamed." she whispered.
"Liv, it was my fault. I didn't fight back. I let him take control. I'm a detective I should've done something but I didn't." I was on the edge of tears.
"Amanda, it doesn't matter that you're a detective. He took advantage of you! You froze. That's a common reaction to sexual assault. You can't help what he did to you. But you can help yourself. Talk to Huang. Get the help you need." she said and patted my back.
We pulled away from the hug and I stared into her dark brown eyes.
"Thank you, Olivia." I said while wiping a tear that had just rolled down my cheek.
"No problem. I'm here no matter what. See you later, Rollins." she said.
"Bye." I said and stepped out of her office.
Everyone stared at me again with confusion. I tried the best I could to avoid their gazes. I casually walked over to my desk and grabbed my coat and phone.
"Where you going?" Sonny said from his desk.
He had a worried look on his face.
"Home." I simply stated and headed for the door.
"What? Why?" Fin asked.
"Sergeant's orders..." I trailed off.
"Why would she-?" Nick began but I cut him off.
"I really have to go before she writes me up. Bye, guys." I said and speed walked out the door and to the elevator.
As the elevator doors closed, my phone buzzed. I looked down at my lock screen.
"Sonny☺️❤️" is who it said texted me. I opened the message.

'hey, are you okay? Why did Serge send you home?'

''No, I'm not okay. My anxiety is sky rocketing. Liv sent me home because she said I need it. I'm seeing Huang at 5:30.'

'Well she's right. You do need to take time off work. It might make things worse for you here.'

'Thanks, Sonny. I'll talk to you later.'

'Text me if you need me. Bye, I love you.'

Those last three words sent my heart racing. I hadn't even realized I had reached the ground floor until someone stepped onto the elevator. I stepped off and headed down to my apartment.

'I love you too.'

I shoved my phone in my pocket and briskly walked. I kept checking behind me. I felt unsafe. It was just the PTSD hovering over my shoulder.
When I finally got to my apartment, it was about 12:45. I decided to take a nap. Frannie was on my bed when I walked into my room. She happily greeted me by wagging her tail.
"Hi, baby." I said and I petted her.
She's so cute.
I took my shoes and coat off and climbed into my bed, setting my alarm for about 3 hours from now. Frannie was laying at my side like she always does. I slowly drifted away into a deep sleep.
I woke up and checked my phone. It was 5:00. I slept through my alarm. Shit!
I jumped out of the bed and brushed my hair. I slipped my shoes and coat on, grabbed my phone, and literally sprinted out of my apartment.
I didn't stop running until I got to the precinct, I was majorly out of breath. It was now 5:15. Jesus, I still have 15 minutes to spare. I rode the elevator up to the squad room and walked in, still out of breath.
Everyone had left except for Sonny and Olivia.
"Hey!-why are you out of breath?" Sonny asked me with great concern.
"I ran my ass off to get here. I thought I was going to be late for my appointment with Huang. I slept through my alarm." I said still panting.
"Oh my gosh, Amanda. Breathe! You're going to have a heart attack or something!" he sat me down at his desk.
He casually took my coat off of me and hung it on the back of the chair.
"Take deep breathes in through your nose and out through your mouth." he said calmly.
I did what he said and my breathing gradually began to improve.
"Oh my god, thank you, Sonny." I said feeling awkward.
"No problem, sweetheart." he winked at me.
I got a lump in my throat and my heart started racing. That wink sent me over the edge. Gosh, I want to kiss him so badly. I was staring at his lips with desperation.
"Amanda? Hello? Earth to Detective Rollins, do you read me?" he said and waved his hand in front of my face.
"I'm sorry, what?" I laughed a little.
"I said, are you okay?" he was leaning on the desk.
"I'm not sure. I'm not mentally prepared to be doing this...it's going to be too much!" my anxiety started to rise a little.
Dominick noticed I was getting anxious and took it under his control.
"Hey, hey, hey...it's okay. It's all going to be alright. Listen to me, no matter what happens, you know I'm here for you." he whispered as he pulled me to my feet and hugged me.
His cologne was very obvious and it was like heaven. His tight arms around my body, my arms wrapped around his. This was perfect. I never wanted to let go.
Just then Olivia came out of her office.
"Hey, Carisi I-Amanda, you're here." she said kind of surprised.
She surveyed Sonny and I and how we were hugging. We pulled away and looked at Olivia and tried to seem as if nothing had happened.
"....anyways....Carisi, did you send the perp down to central booking?" she asked.
"Yeah, sent him down about 20 minutes ago. He put up a really fight." Sonny gestures to the small bruise on his left cheek that I hadn't noticed before.
"Yeah, I see...Well, I have to go take care of Noah. His asthma is acting up again." I could tell Olivia was a bit uncomfortable.
"Alright, Serge. See you tomorrow." Sonny said.
"Yeah, hey Rollins?" she asked.
"Yeah?..." I was zoned out a bit.
"Huang should be here any minute. After the session, please call me. I want to talk to you." she said in a compassionate way.
"Will do." I said and tried to give a smile but failed.
Olivia casually headed for the elevator.