Love At First Sight

Chapter 6

He drove us to his house and I was slowly starting to fall asleep in the car. I tried so hard to keep myself awake but it wasn't going to happen.
We pulled up in front of his house as soon as I had fallen completely asleep. I felt cold air as my door opened. What the hell is he doing?
He put his arms around me and legit picked me up from the car. He's so strong....
He carried me into the house as easily as possible and he took me into what I believed to be his bedroom. Then I opened my eyes.
I was lying on a bed. The room was painted dark blue. The lighting was a little dark, it freaked me out.
I saw him standing on the other side of the room. He was staring at me, when he saw me open my eyes, he smiled.
"Hi, darling." his voice was soft.
"Hi." I said as I sat up and got light headed.
My eyes blacked out and I swayed, when my vision returned, Sonny was sitting next to me on the bed. He had his arm around me, resting on my shoulders.
"You alright?" he asked sweetly yet concerned.
"I'm fine." I said as my voice cracked.
I was going to cry. I had tons of thoughts running through my mind along with flashbacks from my attack. Why did this have to happen? I had it behind me. I finally let go of my past but then it had to resurface.
"You don't seem fine." he looked into my blue eyes with his own.
That's when I lost it. The tears streamed down my face and I laid my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me while I cried. He was caressing my back and playing with my hair. I listened to his heartbeat as I cried and it made me feel so much safer.
"Shhh....it's alright, Amanda. I've got you. I won't let anything happen to you. I love you." he kissed my head.
My heart melted when he said that. He really does love me, he really does care. I looked up into his face and he wiped the eyeliner from my cheeks. We stared deeply into each other's eyes and the moment got intense.
He leaned in close to me and we were barely inches apart. I inched my head forward and we kissed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he had his resting on my face. I never wanted to pull away. It was the greatest feeling ever. Being with him made me so happy.
We eventually pulled away because we needed air. I didn't even think about the words that came out of my mouth.
"I love you so much." I whispered.
He smiled at me and then it dawned on me what I had said. Did I really just say that out loud? Wow...I guess I did. I smiled back a little and bowed my head. He lifted my head up by my chin.
"I love you more." he wrapped his arms around me and I had no choice but to do the same in return.
I laid my head on his chest again and listened to his heartbeat while he had his arms around me. We sat there for such a long time without saying anything.
"Will you talk to me about it?" he said after a long while.
My heart stopped and my anxiety started rising. No. Amanda. Calm down. You don't need another anxiety attack today. I took a deep breath and exhaled.
"I don't know, Sonny...I don't want to go back to that time...." I whispered.
"Please? It'll help you a lot. Maybe talking to someone who cares about you will help you heal faster and better? I just want to know what happened between you and Deputy Chief Patten. I want to kill that bastard." his voice was deep and protective.
"Whoa...Sonny...." I said quietly.
"Sorry, but it's true." he sounded angry.
"I guess I could try to talk about it..." I trailed off.
"Good. I'm all open ears. Tell me, what happened that night?" he whispered.
"You already know? You watched the interview with Huang?" I said confused.
"I wasn't listening...I was too busy worrying about your well-being. I was just staring at you and your beautiful face. I wanted to be in there with you so badly but I knew that if I went in, you wouldn't talk." he tucked the hair behind my ear.
"Oh...okay...well...one night, Patten and I had gone out drinking. He offered to take me home and so I said yes. When we got there, he used a false pretense to get inside and being the dumb blonde that I am, I let him in. God, I'm so stupid!!" I cried.
"Hey, Amanda, you're not stupid. He manipulated you. Don't blame yourself for his actions. He hurt you." he held me close to him.
"I'm sorry...I just feel like it's my fault....anyways....after that, he got more drinks and again being the dumb blonde I am, I drank more. That's when he started to..." I stopped and took a deep breath.
"It's okay, take your time. I understand." he whispered.
"That's when he started touching me and calling me names. He touched my thighs and my arms, calling me his 'Good Girl'... He took me to my bedroom, but I didn't want to go. I knew what he wanted but I didn't want it. I tried to tell him no but he didn't listen to me. I should've left, I-I- should've-" that's when he cut me off.
"Amanda, stop. It wasn't your fault. He manipulated you. He's a sick, twisted, prick. You didn't deserve what he did to you." he sounded upset.
"I-I-just....whatever....after that he started to undress me. I told him no but he ignored me. Then he held me down and...and.....raped me." I broke down again and threw my hands over my face. I was an emotionally roller coaster. The flashbacks were flooding into my brain and I couldn't help it. I felt my body shivering. I moved my hands to my ears and I shoved my face into the mattress. I didn't even notice myself screaming at the top of my lungs.
"AMANDA!" Carisi yelled and tried to pry me from the bed.
I flipped out and started punching and kicking, thinking he was Patten.
"No! Leave me alone! I don't want it!" I screamed.
"Amanda! It's me, Sonny! It's okay! I'm not going to hurt you! I love you, you know that!" he shouted over my screaming.
I was breathing heavily once I snapped into reality. I could feel my body was drenched in sweat and my face was coated with my tears. My throat was sore from screaming and my fists hurt from where I impacted Dominick.
"Sweetheart....I'm so sorry that all of this is happening to you. Come here." he held me close and I just sat there staring off into space.
I can't believe that just happened. How could I think Sonny was Patten? They're two completely different people. I'm going insane.
"Come on, let's get you cleaned up, honey." he whispered.
He stood up from the bed and held out his hand. I took it in my own and he lifted me to my feet. I swayed a little and he put his arm around me.
"You okay?" he asked worried.
"Yeah...yeah...just dizzy." I replied.
He led me to the bathroom, walking slowly so I didn't fall. He started running bath water while I leaned on the sink. I lifted my head up and looked in the mirror. I was a mess. My hair was all over the place and my face was stained with makeup. I looked pale as hell. The dark circles under my eyes were unbelievable. I looked terrible.
I turned around to face him. The bathtub was filling up and he was getting a towel out of the closet.
"Here, I'm running you a bath so you can relax. Will you be okay on your own?" he is the sweetest man I've ever met.
"Yeah, I'll be fine..." I answered.
"Okay, if you need me, just call for me, alright?" he said.
"Okay...thank you." I was so grateful to have him.
"You're welcome. I love you." he said and then kissed me.
He stepped out and shut the door. I started to peel off my clothes starting with my shirt, then my pants. As soon as I was done, I stepped into the hot bath water and laid down. The water relaxed my body almost instantly. I never wanted to leave this spot. I was calm, relaxed, and worry free. I love Sonny so much for doing this for me. I am so grateful to have such a good boyfriend as him.
Wait.
Did I just call Dominick my boyfriend?