He dreamed about them sometimes. Warrior queen Gwenhwyfar blending into vain Guanhumara into sweet Gwen. Lancelot dying a hundred different deaths, sometimes as he screamed, twice by Arthur's hand. Surreal visions of the nobility dismissing Gwaine arguing with the proud Prince Gawain of the Orkneys.
He grieved for them, all of them. Guanhumara had hidden more goodness than he'd first suspected behind her love for beautiful things. Morgana always managed to get at least one hook of regret into him. His knights, his allies, his advisors . . . Every incarnation had been different, and he mourned the loss of them all. Now that he was fulfilling the future part of his destiny, he had to say goodbye to them forever, at least in this - well, he was going to say life, but existence was probably the better term.
He didn't mourn for Merlin in the same way as he mourned for the others because he never really lost Merlin. He mourned his friend's memories instead and whatever peace or happiness he'd managed to find in his previous life. Merlin wasn't dead so much as he was amnesiac, at least from Arthur's point of view.
He had dreamed of Merlin in his last life last night. It had started off disastrously, but those last few decades . . . Those had been good. Merlin's joy at rescuing his people from the title of "Soulless", that delighted, mischievous grin that had become almost habitual for him, that he had worn in the moment before his death at the ripe old age of ninety-seven - That had been good. Merlin deserved happy years.
Right now that dream was providing a rather stark contrast to reality. Destiny was, apparently, determined to torture him.
"You want to what?" he demanded.
Dr. Mathers looked rather taken aback. "Dissect him. He's such a fine specimen. We might actually be able to discover the secret for eternal life - "
Agent Arthur Pendragon, pride of the agency, resisted the urge to shoot the man. "You are not dissecting Merlin."
"But the director said - "
"Dr. Mathers, is the director currently standing here with a gun?"
The doctor gulped. "No, sir."
"Then that's settled then. Which room did you say he was in? Ah, that one. And the keys. Thank you."
He and Merlin really had to stop reuniting like this.
. . . . .
A/N: Gwen's alternate names come from Wikipedia and are actual variants from various legends.
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Merlin Headcanons
Fanfiction. . . As well as theories, drabbles, and rants on ships.
